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female
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anonymous
writes: Are other couples really having lots of sex ?I ask this as its severely died down in my relationship, was all the time obviously, but after a couple of years dwindled down, and I get concerned about it. I just feel that we should be having sex more, but think that alot of couples simply dont bother any more ?Is it this day and age that makes us not really care about our sex life when in a long term relationship ?Are we too busy with lifes challenges to be concerned about sex so much ? I do have sex in my relationship, but not that much, and I cant help thinking sometimes that everyone else is having sex but me! It doesnt always bother me, but I guess im more curious than anything if its normal to be thinking like this, and do we just accept it more now rather than making an effort ?Whats considered a normal amount of sex ?Are there any others that think like that ? And should I be making sure there is more sex ? or is love and trust enough to make you survive in a relationship ? Thanks.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 September 2006): What does sex mean to you; what do you equate it to?
Men do view sex differently from it than women as it means something different to them.
The majority of women see sex as a way of strengthening a bond. Most men see it as something that makes them feel good about themselves; like a man!
If there is lack of communication in a relationship, lack of trust...this in turn will effect the frequency of sex.
If a man is wrapped up in "getting off", he doesn't have to rely on sex with his spouse/partner for this so again; the frequency will be effected.
If a man is tired, bored, over stimulated, stressed from family life or work...sex becomes less appealing.
Has there been any recent changes at work or in the home? Have you been fighting?
The best way to address this is to talk to you husband like he is a most trusted friend. If this doesn't sound like a viable route to go; then seek out marriage counselling.
It just sounds like the spark has been burning dimmer of late and you need to figure out how to liven it up.
Ever try initiating it? In the garage after he comes home from work? At this time, don't worry about you...tell himn that is it about him and give him a hand job or oral.
Start dressing "naughty" and hold him at night.
Kiss him when you feel the urge. Hug him more. Massage his feet when you are watching tv.
Good Luck.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 September 2006): Hi there,I know what you mean. It seems like everything is geared to make us think that sex should be one of the most important things about our lives, and that people are doing it all the time - adverts, magazine articles, etc. Which makes you wonder if you arent quite right, as actually its not the main thing in your life! I would say whatever works for you is cool. Seriously, there is no 'right' or 'wrong'. If you and your boyfriend are happy with the way things are, it doesnt matter how you compare to the national average. And anyway, you know what they say. Quality, not quantity.x
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