A
female
age
36-40,
*lexia846
writes:What do guys think of nice girls?? I was just in an emotionally abusive relationship and ppl told me that it was not worth it to be nice all the time? Do men find playing hard to get and bitches attractive?? I mean I believe in being honest and straightfoward nut ppl and books say you should be mysterious and birchy and never give 100percent!! Is all love nd saying is a game? Is there guys outthere that appreciate honesty? And just simplicity? And girl that are super appreciative? I just got out of a dive year toxic relationship where I gave way more than I got an am wondering if maybe I should give up on being nice and just play a game.. Thuoghts?? Advice???
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female
reader, alexia846 +, writes (2 January 2011):
alexia846 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI guess you said it right chigirl because I just want someone just to accept me and love me for who I am not my looks and my past five yr relationship was like that he would want me to be perfect and even though I gave him 110 percent he still would not appreciate all of me unless I got better and better for him
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (2 January 2011):
 I think reading books about relationsgips is silly compared to real life experiences. If you want a mysterious relationship with certain types of men and keep a distance in your relationship, then go for that if thats what you want. But, clearly thats not what you want (neither would I). What you want is a man who apprechiates you for who you are, doesn't play games, apprechiates the little things in life (such as home cooked meals), loves to give and please you and loves for you to be yourself and give back into the relationship, and building a relationship on honesty and growing ever closer to each other.
But there are some guys who don't want that, just like some girls are mean and mysterious and want a distance etc. You have to find a man who matches you and what you want in a relationship!
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A
female
reader, alexia846 +, writes (2 January 2011):
alexia846 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks guys its refreshing to hear this because I was super nice and honest and wanted to give 120% and want to in every relationship I want the relationship to be easy going and constable but books and literature even friends say that " you should alway keep men on edge" never give all of you away.. Keep it exciting. And mysterious. I mean in my last toxic relationship o gave all of me and never played hard to get cause I thought men liked honesty and caring and just plain hey here is a home cooked meal I thought of you. But most ppl say you should never butter ppl up keep always space.. Ughhh so confusing especially when u come from an emotio ally abusive relationship where you think pleasing the other person is great :(
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A
female
reader, chigirl +, writes (1 January 2011):
Be who you are. The solution is not to turn into a bitch, but stay a nice girl and find a NICE GUY. You dated a jerk. Don't let that turn you into one too. Just find someone nice next time.
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A
female
reader, PatientlyWaiting1 +, writes (1 January 2011):
It is best for you to stay nice. Stand up for yourself. Let someone know right away if you feel disrespected. You have to set boundaries immeadiately. And do not give too much too soon. You can be nice and still keep certain things private. A lot of people confuse being "too nice" and smothering. You may think you were being nice but you may have been coming on too strong or being a push over. But again, there is nothing wrong with being nice just never let someone walk all over you.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (1 January 2011):
 Dont change who you are for anyone, all men are different and have different types of girls they go for, but no matter what people say to you, honesty is the best policy.
However sometimes you cant to to kind and nice or some people will just walk all over you, you need to be able to stand up for yourself and show you are not a push over. Goodluck.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (1 January 2011):
We don't find bitches attractive really. Well, insecure guys might, I don't know. But I don't know any.
The problem might not be that you're nice. That's great that you are, and you'll meet a guy who'll appreciate that. But the problem might be that you're so nice, you're picking crappy guys that you think will change, or that you think are worth a try.
I'd suggest staying nice, but being a bit more picky about the men you choose and making them do a bit more running here and there. All your qualities will really, really be recognized by a decent guy. But you need to meet that decent guy first.
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