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Do my dreams about my ex mean I want him back?

Tagged as: The ex-factor<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (4 October 2011) 1 Answers - (Newest, 5 October 2011)
A female United States age 36-40, anonymous writes:

i have a quick question. i broke up with my ex of two years in june. i really did love him and care so much for him, but we got to where we fought so much that i just felt it was hopeless. i moved out and started seeing another guy.

recently my ex and i have come back into contact with one another and i realize my feelings for him are definitely not gone. and in the last two weeks, i've dreamed about him practically every night. it always ranges from him and i being back together and living together, to him and i with my son at the fair, or him and i having really good sex, etc. bottom line though, the underlying theme of the dreams is always that him and i are back together in a relationship. my question is this: what could this mean? are my dreams simply that straight forward? that i miss my ex and want him back? or am i reading too much into it? i can honestly say, he's the only guy i have ever been with that i pictured in my future years and years down the road. and on a side note, i think the guy i'm seeing now has an idea of my feelings because he's been telling me i've been distant lately and has told me he's been having bad dreams that i was leaving him for my ex! anyway, some insight to this would be great! thanks in advance!

View related questions: broke up, miss my ex, moved out, my ex

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A female reader, kaiti30 United States +, writes (5 October 2011):

kaiti30 agony auntMore times than not, when you dream about an ex (girlfriend, boyfriend, husband, wife), it isn’t really THEM that your dream represents. Usually (though not always, of course) it’s the period of time that your mind is revisiting – your ex just happens to be there. In the same way that our AWAKE mind revisits the past, through memories, sometimes our ASLEEP mind does the same.

If we’re going through a stressful time in our lives and seem to have more on our proverbial plate than we ever asked for – our mind will take us to a “simpler time” – if an ex happens to be there, it isn’t necessarily a compliment to them. They just happened to be in the picture at the time.

However, if it becomes a recurring dream, the analysis may be a little different. Here’s an example:

X was married to a man named Y , a wonderful man who she was crazy about. His only vice, her e-mail said, was that he was a workahaulic. He worked 12 hours a day and, when he came home, all he wanted to talk or think about was work. Other than that, they were happily married and had a comfortable life.

However, she began to dream about her ex-husband regularly. In her dreams, they were always having fun – doing things they used to do together (fishing, hiking, going to movies…).

She was beginning to think that her subconcious mind wanted Mr. Wrong back instead of Mr. Right!

She was reliveved to find out that her subconcious mind was simply giving her a message – she missed doing the things she once did and a part of her wished that her second husband had as much fun with life as her first one did. After all, she said, it was the only thing he ever got right!

Without mentioning the dreams or husband #1's name (of course), X told Y that he needed to lighten up and enjoy life more. The whole business of work-related subjects being the only words out of his mouth had gotten very old, very fast. She made arrangements for them to go fishing one weekend and Carl fell in love with it so much, she now kind of wishes he’d give her a Saturday OFF the lake!

Examine your dreams and see if there’s a hidden message, such as the one above. 9 times out of 10 there isn’t a specific message – your subconscious simply wanted to take a stroll down memory’s lane… and you-know-who just happened to be there!

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