A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Do men really get stuck and can't choose between two women? If you have been in this situation please share. Who did you ultimately choose and why? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 October 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for your answers!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 October 2010): I don't know if I am at the position to comment as it is my ex who has been in this situation.I was with ex boyfriend for 1 year and 3 months, then I discovered he had been seeing a girl twice a month for the last 6 months. This devastated me so much and I broke up with him but he refused, he said he loves me equally. I tried to stay to wait for him to choose but 2 weeks passed and he cannot decide, so I dumped him. Then he said he decided to choose her as she doesn't know about me yet while I know about her.It was so depressing, I cried a lot. Then 2 months into that, he contacted me to say that he left her. He misses me a lot and wished he had not cheated before, his life became a hell the day he took the risk of cheating on me.Just recently, for old times sake, we decided to meet. And he told me that if he can get back the time, he wished he had chosen me. He knew in his heart he loves both of us but he did not realize who he loves more until both women are gone. I told him, I am sorry. I am with someone now and I will not leave the current one because of him. I have moved on already. He is still in my block list on the internet and I have a new phone number now. I guess regrets always come in the end.
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A
male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael  +, writes (30 October 2010):
 Both genders are capable of trapping themselves in such an impossible choice. It occurs all too often. A man loves two women, even if he is devoted to his girlfriend or even wife, love can still course through his veins for another. Is it right? No, but no one can help it, one cannot force oneself to feel nothing for someone. Of course, in lieu of the more drastic choice of leaving a lover or spouse, one could always seek to forget and move on from the 'other woman', cutting off all contact and such. Doing so is almost impossible or sometimes, inconceivable because love still rings heavily in one's mind and soul but, it is sometimes necessary in a commitment. Why do people label relationships? It is a promise and it is often wise to devote yourself fully to the current commitment.
Thus, yes, it is entirely possible for a man to love two women but the answer is almost always clear, stay devoted to the one who have loving you.
An entirely different answer is needed for a man who is not committed. If a man loves two women, he needs to decide, spend time with both and see who is right for him. Everyone has their beautiful qualities and their ugly faults, some have more than others of course and in the end, a man must assess logically and heartily and answer the question to who is would be most happy with. It is not so simple sometimes but the answer is there and one must have the patience to seek and discover it.
I was once thrust into this same dilemma and in the end, I surrendered and moved on from both because I could not choose one over the other. Yes, I regret it at times but I know that if I had done anything, everyone would have gotten hurt in the end. Sometimes it is necessary to make such sacrifices to spare all a heartache.
I hope that helps.
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 October 2010): I was, and still am. I went through a mid life crisis, fueled mainly by a fairly dry marriage of 15 years. I had an affair, left my wife, and have been in turmoil since. I love my mistress, but long for the partnership and history I had with my wife. My wife is done with me, and I undrstand. But it has prevented me from moving forward in this new relationship fully. Fact is, I love parts of both of them. Of course, I lean toward my wife because of the 20 years of history I have with her. But I have so much more in common with the new woman, and I feel more natural and at peace with her.
I think it comes down to 2 things. 1, I a afraid to be alone, and 2, I cannot choose which attributes I would be happiest with. Of course, I have no choice, so that makes the situation even more of a travesty.
I will NEVER, EVER cheat again. That much I have learned. It rots the soul.
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