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female
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*ngelbbabe7490
writes: I'm in love..I can't stop thinking about him. I know he loves me but we havn't had a discussion about starting a relationship. I told him I might go away to Vet school..im a senior in college and he just graduated. He has an accounting job travels a lot and is starting to get his life set up. He still enjoys getting drunk and having a good time. Over the summer I happened to run into him twice and we ended up seeing 2 movies. I texted him a week ago and asked him if we could get coffee sometime and he said Yes Definatley.. but still has not gotten back to me on a set time or date. I know he has been busy but is he expecting me to follow up for a second time? I don't want to go overboard .. I have been seeing him on and off for 3 years now and there has not been too much progress due to the fact that he went to school 3 hours from me. Now he is living in the same home town as me but ever since school has started he has given me some space. When I am with him I feel like we pick up where we left off and I have no questions to ask. Other times I feel like he is distant and to himself. I feel the love when we are together and I can't move on to anyone else. It's quite pathetic but driving me insane. I just watn answers..Is it true that men need to be the hunters when it comes to relationships? Do I need to follow up or should I just wait it out? He has taken me to the movie's at least 8 times and he has came over my house for movie nights, helped me study, and we even went to a haunted graveyard thing last Halloween. I know there is an interest there, but have yet to really open up and tell him how I feel. I have been hurt in the past..but men are drawn to me. Some might think I'm a heartbreaker and my facebook always has random guys commenting on it. I want to hear the truth but I don't want to mess this up. I'm a good girl and I know he has a good head on his shoulders but sometimes I wish we would just get on with this and make it official. What would you do in my situation?
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female
reader, Koala Bear  +, writes (20 October 2011):
 In any other case I would say let him know how you feel, especially if the guy is shy. However in your situation I don't think the question is to "hunt him or not". This guy is simple not ready for a relation. He's fresh out of school and trying to build a career. So his focus is on his social identity as an adult. His destination is up in the air, he will follow where work and success leads him. For men this is something important to establish in order to have the most confidence in what they can contribution to a relationship. I'm not saying he doesn't like you and isn't feeling the same. The point I am making is that if he hasn't brought it up, them this could be the most likely the reason why.On the other hand three years is a long time to know someone and still be on shaking grounds as to where you stand as a potential lover/friend/gf/bf. I would stay focused on you. Don't let him consume your thoughts and focus. You could be missing out on someone else who is more compatible with you and your desired direction in life.
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