A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: I was reading a question here, about whether men fantasize about other women or not when they're in relationships. I understand they do, and that it's healthy (I mean, yeah, it'd be A BIT weird that a guy could only get it up with one woman).But one of the guys said that after a couple of years they no longer "fantasize" about their wife or girlfriend. I mean, he could've meant something totally different. But the way it was worded made it sound as if after a couple of years, the "sexual novelty" of the wife/girlfriend is lost. Like she's not longer as enticing. He said something like "it doesn't meant we don't love you". But that makes it sound as if the wife/girlfriend then turns into a friend or something.I mean I know there are couples for whom sex only IMPROVES as years pass. But I know the majority lose attraction towards one another. Usually it's the man not wanting to even tough the wife, but it can be the other way round. I just want to know, basically, if men stop thinking sexually about their partners after some time has passed. I don't want to be some sort of friend, if I'm going to be someone's girlfriend or wife for that long period of time, then I want to be in his list of sexually arousing women. Not just someone that he loves, but doesn't lust after. I hope you understand my question.Thanks!
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male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (12 July 2010):
If things aren't allowed to become stale, or routine, and a couple continue to spend time together and trying new things and such, neither person will become bored. It's all about making sure the relationship is solid, and that you;re still spending time together and tying new things. True love and true lust take a lot of effort. And it goes one when you stop putting effort in.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 July 2010): There are two parts to this. First, ya, sex in a long-term relationship can become routine and predictable.
Second, you can be in a long-term relationship and still have lust. I've been with my wife for 30 years, and there aren't any other women in my fantasies.
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