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female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: Hey guys, Ok, this question may be long, but I need some opinions from you because I really don't know what to think. My teacher of perfomance is 48 and i'm 18. I know what are you going to say and i know it's illegal to have relationship, because he's involved in my school. But i truely like him, i think he's my soul mate! I'm just wondering about 2 questions.Sometimes i got feeling that we talk in metaphors. Once he asked me to do one project with him and it looked like he would asked me out somehow, because his voice was softer and he looked kind of shy. Or other time we talked about "feelings in our dreams" in class. He said something like that: "some feelings are strong (and then he looked direct in my eyes) and others are not(then he looked at other student), some feelings are meaningful (then again he looked at me) and others are not (he looked away)". Yesterday i showed him picture of my thong, because we had to bring him photos of things that reminds us on one poem we're working on. I sense he was excited and he looked at photo from really close (to see datails, i guess). Then he said i should give him my thongs that we could use in our perfomance (it will be very abstract and freaky perfomance). Another example is, we talked on privat about one plant, which is symbol of "men's ancient fear of putting penis inside vagina". I asked him if he has that fear too and he said "not really, it's just ancient" and look at me and smile. The second thing is that he "reacts on my reaction". I mean, if i look at his shoes for example, he would move his feet, or if i smile he smiles too (even there is 10 other students), or if i look at his phone in hands he would put it on table. What does that reaction or body language mean? And do we really talk in metaphors or it's innocent? I don't want to write about other stuff we have now, let's just say he's flirty and his eyes are always sparky when he sees me or talk with me. I just need answer to those 2 question. I'm really looking forward to seeing answers or some objective opinions. I'd like to read experiences about anyone who is in similar situation like me too.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 November 2008): Thanks for your answers. I agree with you, oldfool. English is not my real native language, so i couldn't find better word for things he talk, except metaphora. Maybe it would be better if i say "normal stuff with provocative or maybe erotic background". For what you've been writting about his past lioisons with student.. i have to admit that i heard something about it. I heard that he had 2 years long relationship with girl my age, but she was in different school. How did you know that?
And yes, teachers tend to be authority figures, but he is not. He is not strict and he teachs subject which is closer to many students than for example math. I've never been in same situation, this is my first time i have a crush on someone who is so much older. I just sense that we're emotional soul mates.. And i'm very understandable to thinks he talk, it's like my mind would talk from his mouth, if that makes you sense. Anyway, thanks for your answer very much, it really makes sense for me!
A
male
reader, oldfool  +, writes (15 November 2008):
 I may be a bit dense, but I can't see what you mean by "speaking in metaphors" A metaphor is language that directly compares seemingly unrelated subjects. To say "You are my sunshine" is a metaphor because it compares "you" to the "sunshine". I can't see this going on in your examples.
As for whether he has feelings for you.
First, I would say he's conscious of your attention. He can see that you're interested and he may be responding to that interest consciously or unconsciously.
Secondly, since he's your teacher, you are naturally attracted to him, especially given that the field he's working in might be regarded as creative, sexy, or romantic. Teachers tend to be looked up to as authority figures and many students take a romantic interest in their teachers.
Thirdly, you would not be the first attractive young woman that has come his way. He's used to that kind of attention, and I think it not beyond the bounds of possibility that he has cultivated that kind of interest in his students in the past. That is, it is possible that he MAY have had liaisons with students in the past. (He may not, but I am just suggesting this as something to be careful of).
At any rate, unspoken tension in the classroom is hard to pin down. It could be something that you feel very strongly and which he notices. It could be something between you. Or it may be nothing at all.
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