A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Before we got married, my wife and I had been in an on and off relationshipo for quite a few years, and we had initially had sex frequently. She wanted it constantly, and we often had sex several times a day. having sex. Her interest in sex seemed to fall off, and she eventually said she wanted to stop for religious reasons. She had been married once before me, and she was sexually active with quite a few men before me and during times we were apart (she wssn't cheating, we just weren't together at times). I don't know any details, but my general impression is that she was that she had a very high sex drive when she was with her prior boyfriends (e.g. she told me she could "go for hours, morning day and night")But, now that we're married she tells me she's going through a period in her life where she's just not very interested in sex. She says she's not horny like she used to be, and she really doesn't think about sex much. (she's 35 years old)I can understand this, but my question is do women ever regain their sex drive after losing it? Do women really go through "periods" in their life where they're not interessted in sex, but later regain interest?I had been reading up on all the things that can affect women's sex drive (e.g. lack of romance, etc.) and doing everything I could. Nothing seemed to make any difference. My wife said I wasn't doing anything wrong and that she's just not interested in sex anymore.I've given up on trying to rekindle anything sexually because I got tired of all the effort for nothing. Also, she complained a lot that I was pressuring her and that I wanted sex "constantly" (a huge exaggeration). My impression is that she's a little disappointed/concerned that I'm not trying anymore. But, it appears to be that it's mostly because she liked being "pursued", even though she wasn't actually interested in sex. Here's my question: Do married women ever regain their sex drives once it's lost? For the most part, almost all of my male friends are in similar situations, and the consensus seems to be that there's no point in getting worked up about it because it's just the way women are once they get married, and there's not much you can do about it short of divorce.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 November 2011): when a woman starts losing sexual attraction to her mate, it's usually because she is disastisfied with him or the emotional relationship. basically she feels turned off to the man because she no longer believes him to be someone that she trusts, or admires, respects, feels comfortable with, feels understood by, etc. You get the idea. instead of reading up everything you can about sex drives and trying to rekindle the sex (which does give the impression that this is all you care about and that you were pressuring her, which is also a turn off for many women), you should instead examine your personal relationship in general and emotional connection with her. Deepen or enrich your emotional and mental connection as friends and life partners (which may involve you having to make some changes in yourself), and quite likely her sexual attraction for you may return.
A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (27 November 2011):
 You asked, "Do women ever regain their sex drive after losing it? Do women really go through "periods" in their life where they're not interessted in sex, but later regain interest?"
Yes, they do. But there is no precise way of knowing when, or why, or what brings it about. In fact, women often have greater cravings for sexual activity than their men as the years go by, based on my own experiences and considerable number of published studies. Pressuring her is unlikely to bring about the results you seek. What will be, will be.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 November 2011): I was married for 6 years. We had sex everyday in the beginning of our relationship. It started declining in the last 2 years we were together. We had two kids. I thought that because I had kids and being married, that it was a normal thing of my sex drive going down. Well I was wrong. I felt that he didn't fulfill my needs(sexually) and only wanted a quicky. He didn't want to change after talking to him and I just became so irritated and my feelings had changed about him. It wasn't me at all!! We divorced & I found an incredible boyfriend and the sex is wonderful and life changing! It takes two to tango and I realized that it wasn't me after all! ** Life is good now!! **
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A
female
reader, mammaboo  +, writes (26 November 2011):
 Yes women can have a drop in their libido. I am going through it now and i have been with my partner for six years. Marraige sometimes can add to the problem of not really trying to do anything about it because there is a sense of security. This is not saying that you should have an affair or end the relationship though.We have talked about this as partners at great length and we have found that our sexual lives will change as move thruogh the years. Your wife maybe wanting something different from you rite now that is more important to her than sex.She may want more caring of her just more hugs and kisses and cuddles,more conversation. You could talk about sex and it doesn,t have to lead to anything. Thats what we do. He asked me if i didn,t feel like it could he masterbate and would i mind . I said no ,i don,t mind. He then has said suppossing he made himself cum and then later on do all the nice things that make me cum without him cumming. He said he would make me feel wonderfull without him having to cum atall and i could just lie back and enjoy.Do you know it works wonderfully and we still have full penertration just not as often. He is never inconsiderate and we cherish what we have and he is actually lifting my labido.
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