A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:what are you if you do the couple things up to cuddling (no kissing, no touching, nothing more) with a friend? There's nothing sexual involved, just the love (a form of love, not the real thing) and care type thing. Are you just super close friends? Both of us are single btw (and have never and will never have intentions of dating each other) but even when we were dating other people we curl up next to each other on the sofa watching horror films (not when our partners were there mind you but our partners knew about how we are and knew there wasn't any 'development' between us to worry about.........)
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2012): op here
@cerberus -- i suppose we could be considered 'cuddle buddies' lol but nothing will ever happen because i'm not up for that and i'd never do it if it was a 'compromised' situation like drunk or whatever -- besides the fact that i dont get drunk. i wouldn't do it if we werent single because even though i don't think there's anything there, i wouldn't want it to upset anyone.
@cindycares i'm not physically attracted to him and i wouldn't ask about the other way around but we are really close friends. i don't know why it would be like that with a close male friend and not a close female friend but i suppose in a way we do it because it's a comforting thing? i'm not sure.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 June 2012): Unless he's gay then he probably fancies you.
I've had a good few cuddle buddies and there's a few things I've learned. First off if it's strictly platonic then why will he never, ever do that with a guy friend? Surely he has platonic guy friends. It's not because us guys are somehow scared of looking gay it's because that level of closeness is not platonic for us. It's very sexual.
Thinking back I was attracted to all of mine and ended up sleeping with most of them because cuddle buddies usually progresses "accidently" in a drunken/tired/stressed night of weakness, there was always something there and while it was never a conscious decision none of them were ugly.
Another thing OP why would he get that close to you when he has a girlfriend? Do you really think a partner is going to be happy with him cozying up to you all night just the two of you? Why would he risk that just to cuddle with you? I stopped all cuddling with my female friends when I got with my current girlfriend because it's completely disrespectful to them. No partner in their right mind would be stupid enough to think there's nothing between you. You only have to look at the bulge in his crotch area when you cuddle to see that there is.
Personally I think you're being naive but that's okay because you girls are fully capable of long term platonic cuddling but it works very differently for us guys. You see we're perfectly capable of showing deep love for our friends without physical affection. Add physical affection and it means we're more.
Just because he agrees with you that it won't develop doesn't mean he doesn't get a bit of a sexual thrill when holding you. His underwear is probably moist the whole time.
There's nothing wrong with being cuddle buddies but only a fool would think there's nothing more.
One piece of advice OP don't sneak around yours or his partners back to do this kind of thing when you are not single. It's very disrespectful and it's very suspicious you may be foolish enough to think that it's nothing more but it's actually very hurtful to people knowing that their partner is right now being deeply physically intimate with someone else.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (7 June 2012):
 I think they are simply two people who are attracted to each other but haven't got the guts to admit it :).
It's interesting that you say you have no intentions of dating each other,- but you did not say that neither one feels any physical attraction whatsoever to the other .
Suppose you were watching a movie with a good female friend of yours : would you stay all curled up cuddling with her for two hours ? I doubt it, probably it would not cross your mind.
So , if it's platonic, why being closer to this platonic friend that you would with a same sex friend ?
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