A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm currently dating a lovely guy. I'm not sure if I can really use the word "dating" because even though he wants us to be exclusive and tells me he loves me, he refers to me as a friend to everyone he introduces me to. On Facebook, he was fine with me changing my relationship status to "in a relationship", but he inexplicably would not do the same thing.When we met (towards the end of summer), he wasn't in school, he was just working, so we were able to spend a lot of time together. Now he's in school and working, and he can only ever see me once, twice if I'm lucky, during the weekend. We'll shoot a few lines to each other during the week and occasionally talk on the phone.My question is: do I want too much out of this relationship? I'm seriously doubting if I want to continue seeing this guy. It's nice feeling loved and loving, but what is good is that if we're only together one or two days out of seven? He's a great guy, smart and funny and compassionate...yadddayaddayadda, but it hurts my feelings that he can say he feels so deeply for me but then refer to me as a friend (he'll hold my hand and kiss me in public, but he won't call me his girlfriend to friends and passerbys...wtf?). Any advice would be greatly appreciated. I don't know anyone who can give me a non-biased opinion.
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male
reader, idoneitagain  +, writes (28 September 2011):
Does he know you think of him as your boyfriend, and do you introduce him as your boyfriend?
Does he know that you want to be thought of as his girlfriend?
Does he know how important this issue is to you, and that it is hurting you that he introduces you as a friend and not as his girlfriend?
You don't mention that you have had any of these discussions, so I am guessing you haven't really communicated what you need to communicate to him.
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (27 September 2011):
 You say you met him at the end of the summer, so realistically you both haven't been dating for a long time. It is possible that he is just not ready to make it official yet and is still enjoying getting to know you. Talk to him about it and tell him how it is making you feel. Ask him straight out why he says you are just a friend and ask him what he wants out of this 'relationship' ask him where does he see it going. You need to communicate with him, talk to him and then you will get some answers. Don't just finish with him without trying to see if you can solve this with some communication.
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