A
female
age
22-25,
*bauer
writes:I am kind of on the young side. I have been dating this guy for 2 and a half months and just seemed to have lost interest in him and am starting to have feelings for another guy. I want to break up with my current boyfriend but still be friends. How can I let him down easy so we can still be friends? His birthday is also this coming Sunday so should I wait to break up with him until after his birthday? Thank you! Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Andie's Thoughts  +, writes (25 March 2019):
 I'm hoping my first response will be added soon, so here's something I'd like to add to that one: don't rebound. Always give at least 3 months between relationships - especially at your age and when they last longer than a couple of months when you're older. It's for the benefit of you and whoever you broke up with.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 March 2019): I think you should try to be kind and let him have a great birthday. If it was your birthday, I think you would want him to have at least shown you that much sympathy.
I want to teach you a little something since you are very young. It might not be a good idea to offer being friends after breaking someone's heart. They need time to heal before they can feel "friendly" towards you. Especially when you think you like somebody else. It's a little selfish to think you can hold on to him; while you're having feelings for another boy.
Here's a little more advice for the coming future. If you break-up with one person, you should wait a little while before you get a new boyfriend. Something I know about people, because I'm older and experienced.
It's not going to feel good when you see him with a pretty new girlfriend. Suddenly your feelings for him just might comeback. Be sure this is what you really want to do. Someday someone will decide they like someone else instead of you. It will break your heart; and you will know how that feels. Be ready.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 March 2019): Tell him now.
You know how you feel -NOW.
Do not ignore how you feel!
How do you feel?
Well you told us!
So tell him.
There's a girl.
Be honest now.
Z
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A
male
reader, Guesswhothisis +, writes (24 March 2019):
What difference will it make whether you end it now or after his birthday? You're going to end it. As for remaining friends. That's the stuff of movies. You can't be friends. That won't work.
Sounds like you are both young. Will likely have a few relationships in your lifetime. End it and move on.
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts +, writes (24 March 2019):
If you mean today, you don’t have a choice now. It will need to be after his birthday (preferably 2 - 3 days). For what it’s worth, my boyfriend and I broke up (albeit after 3 years together) 4 days after my birthday and it didn’t hurt any more or less than it would have on any other day.
Just be polite and gentle about it. If you lose interest after such a short time, which is normal and healthy at your age, then you’re probably not ready for a boyfriend (even though your hormones will tell you that you want one!). “Hey Jack, I really like you, but I don’t really want a boyfriend right now. I hope we can be friends because you’re pretty cool”.
What you’ll learn as you start dating is that you usually can’t remain friends after a break up. It’s sad, in some cases, but it’s just how it goes. Be kind about it, but don’t accept anything nasty (if he reacts that way) and don’t start dating anyone else for the next few months, or “I don’t really want a boyfriend right now” is lying and that would probably hurt him.
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A
female
reader, Aunty Susie  +, writes (24 March 2019):
 Two and a half months isn't a very long time to have been dating, so I wouldn't wait. If it's over for you now, now is the time to end it. There isn't any easy way or time to end a relationship, so don't delay. Speak from the heart, be honest and respectful. But don't be surprised if he doesn't want to reman friends. That one you'll just have to wait and see how what happens.
Take care xx
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