A
female
age
30-35,
*nimalxLover
writes:I have been dating my boyfriend for almost 3 years. I'm in college and he's working retail. We live together. I feel like it's time to start being responsible adults and he says he does too but he doesn't show it. He is late on ALL necessary payments (rent, internet, phone), spends a lot of money on smoking (which I also smoke and don't mind but what I do mind is HOW MUCH he's spending and smoking), he has only two pairs of jeans, waits til he has NO clean underwear left to wash clothes (sometimes he'll just wash 2 or 3 boxers), didn't file for taxes last year due to the fact that he didn't have his state ID, taxes are coming up again and he still has not gotten his state ID and still uses his high school ID (we've been out of high school for two years), he doesn't know how to shave and barely goes to the barber, complains about chores and when i clean our room he ends up screwing it up and gets mad when i get upset and tell him to pick up after himself, will save chores for later instead of doing them when necessary, etc.Now I love him very much. We've been through A LOT together and I love his personality and who he is, but I feel like I am maturing and he is not. He gets defensive about it as well and I just don't know what to do. I want him to be responsible and take proper care of himself and of his responsibilities. Do I wait it out or leave him and find someone who will eventually suit these needs?
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female
reader, petina1  +, writes (7 January 2011):
 Usually when a woman and a man live together it seems to be the natural order that a woman will tend to clean up after the man. You will need to retrain him. Put a wash basket next to where he chucks his undies if need be, try to get him in to some sort of routine. He just needs a bit of training that's all.
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