A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am a freshmen in college now about to be 19. For the past 4 years I spent in high school, I grew extremely close with my high school band director: single, no kids, late 20's. Problem: I have developed STRONG feelings for him, perhaps even fallen in love. We are extremely close, more like friends. We talk/text and visit often. We've always discussed personal things and relate to each other as friends would. For a huge part of my high school career, he served as my mentor and guided me through a very difficult time. Many times we cried together because of my struggles. In that time, we became so so personal with each other that now, we say "Love you" when we depart from each visitation. He is no longer my teacher, but these feelings have been growing since mid senior year. I'm now attending college in my hometown which means that we still keep in pretty close touch, which is making my feelings more difficult to subside. What do I do? Do I tell him how I feel and risk the relationship we have now as friends?
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 October 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWe do hug. It's now just a mutual expectation that there's a hug between us when we see each other, and once again when we part. Usually, it's a full on, embrace, which (to me at least)is very meaningful. At the start of the year, I had lost some closeness with him as we were both adjusting to a new year (mine, at a different school completely). I texted him saying that I missed him and he then convinced me to go to that Friday night game at the high school where I spent the whole time on the field (with him)as opposed to in the stands (with the band).
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 October 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWe do hug. It's now just a mutual expectation that there's a hug between us when we see each other, and once again when we part. Usually, it's a full on, embrace, which (to me at least)is very meaningful. At the start of the year, I had lost some closeness with him as we were both adjusting to a new year (mine, at a different school completely). I texted him saying that I missed him and he then convinced me to go to that Friday night game at the high school where I spent the whole time on the field (with him)as opposed to in the stands (with the band).
Does this help?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 October 2012): Sounds like you guys are in love. I think you should talk to him and discuss each others feelings together. It sounds like you guys are definitely more than friends. Talk to him and also, do you think he may also be in love with you? You didn't mention that, you only mention that you guys are close and that he says Love you. Does he hug you? Want to see you? Initiate contact most of the time? If you say Yes, then I think you guys are on the same page. Talk to him and see how you guys can progress from there. I dont see any problems as he is young and so are you and you both are single. Good luck.
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A
male
reader, MrShinra +, writes (29 October 2012):
I see nothing wrong with telling him your feelings. If this man had such a positive impact on your life as a teacher and friend, it's understandable for you to wonder if something more is possible. That being said, there are several things to consider if you wish to make your feelings known to him:1) He may not be interested in you romantically. Can you accept that?2) He was your teacher. As much as he may sincerely care for you, he may still see you as his student
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A
female
reader, iargwath  +, writes (29 October 2012):
 There is always a risk involved when revealing feelings to someone we've grown to love. I'd advise that you go for it! It's always better to be open about your feelings towards someone you care about.
From what you have described your friendship to be with this individual, I don't think you need to be worried about risking the friendship. You two have a very strong connection, and no matter what happens I'm sure you both will be able to work things out.
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