A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:So i went to this party last night and my best friend's boyfriend was there and they have been together for about 2 year now, so he was there and i saw him and he kept touching me on my butt and he kissed my head and also kept touching my hips when he would walk past me. I don't know if he likes me or what but i don't know if i should tell my best friend or not, but i don't want to be the reason for them breaking up. He was also doing this to my other friend that was there. Don't get me wrong he is cute but i really don't know what to do!!!!
View related questions:
best friend Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Dorothy Dix  +, writes (17 December 2012):
Hi there. Well, one thing is for sure.
He is definitely out of bounds, while ever he is your friend's boyfriend.
I realize you already feel this way of course, from what you have said here.
What you would be best doing first off, is to get him alone somehow, and remind him that he is already someone else's boyfriend - your friend's - and that if he keeps on touching you and your other friends the way he does now, that you will tell your friend what he's been doing.
It's not blackmail.
All you are doing, is giving him the chance to stop this flirtatious behaviour on his own - if he is going to - and that if he doesn't, well then you definitely WILL spill the beans to your friend about her boyfriend's social antics.
So it's giving him the chance to do the right thing - and hopefully, he will do that.
And depending on how sincere he really is about his girlfriend in the first place, well then this will determine what he does, after you say this to him - about telling the truth about him to his girlfriend.
I believe this really is your best course of action.
There really is no point and nothing to be gained, by going straight to your friend and telling her.
All it would do, is make her very upset, and perhaps she would not believe you, and she would be angry with him as well.
And then to top that off, it would plant some seeds of doubt towards him in her mind, and the possibility that she could NEVER trust him again.
So you can see what a can of worms it could open, to go straight to her in the first place, can't you?
No, it's NOT worth the trouble it would cause.
By talking to him when she is not around, it's the best way to nip it in the bud NOW, before his behaviour gets a lot more flirtatious and he plants a KISS on either you or another friend or friends of yours in future.
Just so long as he KNOWS that you will go ahead and tell your friend, if he continues on in this way.
He really needs to know that you will follow through on what you say you will do.
Because that's REALLY important.
So the bottom line here is, you are issuing a WARNING.
And furthermore, it's only the ONE warning, you will issue to him.
And if he does it even one more time, or even LOOKS like he is proceeding to head in that direction in a social environment, well then you WILL go straight ahead to your friend and tell her, right there and then.
And if that AWFUL time comes, well then you tell your friend that it wasn't the first time, and that you had recently issued a warning to him that you would tell your friend the very next time it happened.
So then, your friend knows he as done it before.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 December 2012): If your friend believes you, definitely tell her. But sometimes people are so blind that they won't accept the truth and they will call you a liar, which hurts a lot. So, think.
...............................
A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (17 December 2012):
 http://www.dearcupid.org/question/best-friend-should-i-tell-her-about-her.html
This sounds like you. How about you like your best friend's boyfriend and don't know how to hell her?
...............................
A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (17 December 2012):
What do you mean you don't know if you should tell your best friend??!! Yes, you should!! Any good girl friend would tell their friend if they saw their boyfriend cheating or getting touchy-feely with another girl.
You won't be the reason for them breaking up, his wandering eye will!
Unless you haven't told her because you have a thing for him?
...............................
|
