A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:There is a very special girl in my life, yes we call each other a friend. We are practically a couple but the truth is we don't go out and she has said she's not looking for a boyfriend right now. We talk all the time, we have trust and are honest with each other. We seem to be 2 people who click in so many ways. We have been intimate and she tells me that I'm probably the closest thing to a significant other that she has. One night last summer we got together, had a good time over some drinks. We were talking and she showed me an email she got from a male friend who was also interested in her. We both laughed about it as she doesn't have any interest in him. I don't know if it was jealousy, the mood of the evening or even the alcohol but just as calmly as could be I told her the TRUTH, that I was deeply in love with her. She didn't appear to be taken aback but did make the comment "I don't want you to get hurt." We didn't talk for a few days but when we did, I told her I didn't want to hurt her and I was sorry if I did. She was ok with it and we went back to what we had. Here we are several months later and we have actually gotten closer than before. She knows how I feel and I like to think if she didn't have similar feelings she probably would have pulled away by now. Our schedules are apart so we won't be able to see each other on Valentines, but we are getting together the day before. I want to tell her that after all this time "my feelings for you have not changed" but frankly I'm worried about scareing her off again. Anyone have advice? Tell her or not?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Mels  +, writes (3 February 2009):
I would tell her, you need to know if this is only ever going to be a friendship or if she feels more for you.
If she is not ready, ask her what should happen for her to be.
It is obvious that you love her to bits and are the one who is getting hurt.
I wish you the best of luck
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