A
male
age
36-40,
*hetz
writes:hey everyone, i have started to like a friend of mines for almost 6 months now, and i think i might be falling in love with her as well. she was the first friend i ever had on my campus, and we used to stick together all the time, until she met some new people and suddenly left me to be lonely, coz she was the only person i used to talk to. well anyways, i liked her for quite a while now, and she is going out with a guy that is almost twice her age. and i'm too scared to give her any thought that i like her, so i pretend not to care, (i know, i shouldn't do that). there's more, i think i'm definitely not her type, well, i'm basically an introvert, and she's an extrovert, which is the biggest upset for me. can anyone please advise me on what to do. many thanks to everyone who helps. oh, i almost forgot to mention, we do talk to each other now, but not as much as before.. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Chetz +, writes (8 October 2007):
Chetz is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell, I haven't quite told the whole story. It's a bit complicated, but I'll try to make it easy to understand. There's also another girl i like. Yes, there's two girls I like, the one mentioned in my previous question and the one I'm about to mention. lets call the girl i like in my previous post jill, and the one i'm gonna mention, ann...right, well, i used to like ann since the ifth grade, and i know for a fact that she ha a huge crush on me, but only found out after we stopped seeing each other. we went to different high schools so we never saw each other for about five years. she got over me, but I haven't gotten over her as yet. last year, by luck, I managed to get her phone number, and I easily befriended her. soon, I told her I liked her. this was all happening before i met jill. ann sort of knew i liked her and decided to give me a chance with her. well, we haven't been going out exactly, but we did keep in touch a lot. she kinda got fed up that i didn't visit her at all, so she decided to just stick to being friends. I haven't gotten over her as yet, because i had a crush on her for almost eight years now. and when she sees that I'm in love on my facebook she sort of gets jealous, in my opinion. And when i ask her whether she still likes me, she tells me no. I also sometimes ignore her completely, making her frustrated. I really dunno what to do. I like Jill a lot, but i like ann just as much as jill. What do I do?
A
male
reader, nflguy  +, writes (8 October 2007):
I have been where you are. 16 yrs ago I was friends with a girl who I suddenly developed feelings for. I was 16 and she was 14. I knew right away that she was really pretty but she also had lots of pretty older friends. It was nice having a friend that could introduce me to lots of pretty girls. Anyway, about 6 months in I had devloped strong feelings for her. By this time she had a boyfriend. I pretended not to care but was crushed. We stayed close friends through highscool and she would have a new serious boyfriend every year. It made me crazy with jelousy but I was too afraid of rejection to tell her How I felt. I waited until she was a year away from graduating from college to tell her how I felt. She was finally single and i had an opening. She was chocked and mubled something about not being over her ex yet. We went on as if nothing had happened. She pretended I had never told her. A few months later she had a new BF- and i decided the pain was to great and stopped calling her and basically shut her out of my life for nearly two years. I sent her an email in the summer of 2003 which basically stated that I still thought of her everyday and hoped we could meet for drinks. She called me after my email and we talked for two hours. She had a boyfriend but in her words which were the first she had ever spoken that gave me reason to believe she was interested in me romanticaly), "As great as my bf is, he isn't you". 3 weeks later her BF was out of town and we met for dinner and a baseball game. Four weeks after that she broke up with her bf. A few weeks after that we were a couple. We got engaged in Feb 2004 and got married in Hawaii in Jan 2005. Se is pregnant with our daughter now and is due in Feb 2008.
You need to tell her how you feel. The best way would be to take her to dinner and as you are finishing up desssert or having an after dinner drink- tell her you need to tell her something and you feel very awkward telling her. Tell her you don't want her to feel pressured to answer, and actually yu just wan't her to think it over. Tell her you have had feelings for her for awhile and want to date her. Immediately remind her you are not looking for an answer right away and that you know its awkward becuase she has a bf. Tell her that you simply had to let her know. Then crack a joke or change the subject. The bait has been set. She might react with "I don't want to lose our friendship". Let her say that. Her feelings could change once her boyfriend is out of the picture.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 October 2007): well i wouldnt tell her quite yet that you like her. just hang on there for little while cuz it might ruin her relationship with the guy thats shes going out with. then she'll never talk to you again. but one thing you NEED to do is to talk to her more. flirt like crazy. joke around. stuff like that. get yourself noticed and if you think shes paying more atencion to you later on, give it a try. tell her in a really romantic place that will blow her away.
good luck!!!
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