A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I have been training with a woman 1 to 1 at karate for six months we are both instructors.Over this time we talked about many things including relationships, i knew i was fond of her, but not to what extent, and I am also in a relationship where she is not.we trained regular and became good friends. Every so often out of the blue she would say, you know there is nothing between us, which used to wind me up as i never suggested there was or crossed any lines.We continued to train, but I would find myself spending more time with her, i even hurt my shoulder and she massaged it for me, but I was a little confused by her.Anyone night I was just about to finish work and she text me, saying she was upset and could i give her a lift home. I asked no questions and did, she had been out with friends, she was crying. Eventually she said she has been involved months earlier with another karate colleague who had stepped back into her life, but i didnt know why she was upset. She asked if i could hug her i did, we went in her house and she carried on hugging me. I did feel jealous of the other guy. Eventually i went home. Next day she said we needed to talk, i went to see he and she asked me how I felt about her, I played it down, I realised i now had strong feelings but was scared of rejection. So the conversation never developed. we trained again and i saw her a couple of times, she had realised I had been jealous. All of a sudden I find the other guy is back friends with her (i dont know if its a relationship or not). I see red and tell her i think based on the night she called me she should have taken a moment to tell me she was back friends with him and we fall out, I tell her i need time to think. She says she doesnt want to train with me.I am in no doubt I have fallen in love with this girl and was too scared to say. My question is simple do I now tell her how I feel, I also feel bad at the way i reacted but couldnt help it. This is not about jealousy. Do I tell her and risk rejection or walk away and how do I tell her??
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 May 2013): Didn't you say you are in a relationship? What about that woman? If this relationship is over. You need to deal with that first.
Second, you need to tell her how you feel. If she says she doesn't love you at least you know. If you never tell her YOU will never know how fate is suppose to be.
Sometimes your heart has the answers.....and sometimes it gets hurt. But at least you know you are alive.
Good Luck.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 May 2013): To be honest I think there definitely is a part of her that has feelings for you, some physical attraction- but I personally think she's picked up on your feelings for her- and is taking pleasure in playing with your affections as well (MAybe! - Just because she's giving you mixed signals, being quite affectionate, but then being distant- and if she's easily upset, maybe she's got some esteem complex, and needs that reassurance- and shes VERY interested in whether you like her or not, if she wasn't interested on some level really she wouldn't be so interested, Trust me on that.Although this might be just me being cynical (though I instinctively think I'm right! ) where there's love involved you've gotta try- yes it may end in rejection and she may just be a tease with no feelings for you, or not a tease and just interested as a friend, but you can take it! I'm 22, have had anxiety all my life, along with depression in later life and yes rejection has almost killed me (sorry!) but you will get over it:/ Take care and whatever happens don't panic cos you never know what's guna happen and what's really changing without you even knowing... If that makes sense... :)
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