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Do I stop having a crush on my friend's brother?

Tagged as: Crushes, Family, Friends<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (8 September 2021) 1 Answers - (Newest, 12 September 2021)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Where to begin... I've gotten to know my good friend's family and they are super nice. My friend has siblings and this particular one he's close with, so when his family is hosting events, I'm invited and I help. During these events, I've noticed his brother will use moments to stand close to me, compliment my outfit or try to converse with me. I usually keep it short and takeoff to start helping because he gets me nervous. I think I developed a crush on him until I saw how he is in his natural environment (around his family). Even our other friends caught him staring at me.

But, I soon heard of his story about his ex and how messy of a breakup it was, so that's when I stayed back. However, one day I really needed help and had to ask my friend if he thinks his brother would help me, so he gave me his number. Immediately, the brother came to my assistance. I could tell he was nervous and he hardly said anything when it was just us two compared to when he's around his entire family. But since then, he didn't text me but on social media he would "react" to my stories and we'd have really tiny messages. I actually text him randomly twice (1st time he text back, 2nd time he didn't). But something I've noticed about him is, he has a lot of "fit" females on his friends who like to showoff their bodies (he's a gym person); I'm the type of person who doesn't put up loads of selfies, I choose not to expose myself as so and that also made me realize I need to not with him (haha). So I stopped reacting/liking his posts and he did the same.

Now in current time, I deleted my social media accounts (taking time off) and my friend actually moved back to the state I'm at. We spoke on the phone and he mentioned his brother was asking him if I was okay. My friend asked his brother what he meant and he responded, I noticed she deleted her instagram, is she doing okay, is anything wrong?

Now see! I don't get this guy (haha). So any pointers/suggestions/advice is much appreciated. I have not told my friend I have a crush on his brother because is it worth it?

View related questions: a break, crush, friend's brother, his ex, text

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (12 September 2021):

Honeypie agony auntI'd probably stay away from this friend's brother.

Seems like you two don't share the same values. Can you imagine dating a guy who is constantly being hit on at the Gym? Who is acting VERY friendly with female clients? Who is very into the outer appearances of women?

He might be a decent guy around his family. That is fine but that doesn't mean he would make a good BF for YOU.

Also, he is the BROTHER of your friend. If you dated and it didn't work out it could jeopardize your friendship.

If you are looking for a life partner, look elsewhere. Look for someone you share things in common with. Values, morals, interests, goals, etc.

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