A
female
age
30-35,
*reathtakinq
writes:Hi All,Well im a young sixteen year old girl. I have (well, had) in my opinion a pretty amazing boyfriend. We broke up the end of July because of a few problems. He's done some things that I was not happy with, It wasnt the fact that he did those things, It was the fact that he felt the need to hide and lie about them. I found out about him smoking weed afer a Promise that was made to me, And he was talking to another girl in a very interested way. They even had a date planned. To me, even though Yes, i was upset about him smoking, i would have left it alone fairly quick. But i had always believed we had a very strong relationship, where we wouldnt have to hide things and i believed that he would always tell me the truth. It really hurt that he didnt. If he would have just admitted what he did in the first place we wouldnt be here, but i see he doesnt think before he does anything. This is the second time this has happened.Anyways, so the trust was gone, and i made sure to make him aware of this. I had a plan that when school started, i would stay away from him. Trying to not get pulled back into him. It didnt work out. We have the same lunch, I see him all the time EVERYWHERE. And even though we arent dating, we act like we do. I still stay hugged up on him, We are always kissing. Its so confusing. I wanna be with him, I really do, im not ready to let go of him. But i over analyze everything. I know that if we do i'll constantly be worried about this and this, and is he cheating, and i wonder what hes doing. I have his myspace password and i always feel the need to check it, see who hes talking to. Its horrible! I hate this feeling! I always gave him his space, and i dont want to be one of those girlfriends. The kind who have control over everything they do. I think thats crazy, but im afraid of not being able to control myself, and turning into that type of girlfriend.I have days where everything seems so simple. FOLLOW YOUR HEART. And im like "Yeah, Im gonna get back with him." And then i turn around and contradict myself, i cant be with him if i dont trust him. And what if i dont ever trust him, or relationship will never be the same. This is so horrible. I dont know what to do anymore, everything seems so complicated now.Any and all advice is welcomed please.Thanks for all the help in advance (:
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female
reader, HereAreMyTwoCents +, writes (8 September 2009):
 I know you're too young too realize this now, but at your age many people are not able to have a solid, mature, trusting, committed relationship. It sounds like you may want one with him. It sounds like he does not necessarily want one. I would not trust him. Obviously. OBVIOUSLY. And if you said you are breaking up with him, have some self-respect, remember the trust he broke, and stop "hugging up" to him. There is no need to invest so much emotion at your age into someone also as young as you who obviously doesn't care if he betrays your trust. Seriously. You need to stop it with him, and find a nice guy. He is NOT the nice guy. The nice guy does not make you feel disappointment like he has.
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