A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi agony aunts, I recently had two female housemates move in (about 2 months ago) and started hooking up with one of them for a few weeks until she decided it wasn't what she wanted. In this time I had developed some pretty strong feelings for her which I have been trying to squash recently, however they are a very close part of my friendship group and I have had the inkling that my best mate who knows how strong I feel for her is hooking up with her behind my back.Now last night I walked in on them having sex after she pretended to leave and snuck back into his house whilst I was not looking. I'm more shattered about them not having enough respect for my intelligence or feelings than angry about the situation. However I'm not sure I can surround myself with "friends" such as these anymore, should I put up with it or is it time to move on? Also the rest of the friends were in on sneaking her back into the house
View related questions:
move on Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Pureflame  +, writes (23 October 2015):
I'd say it's time to move on. That's my honest opinion. Though I do suggest if they try to make amends give them a chance if you feel like.
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (23 October 2015):
 She doesn't owe you squat. Your BFF? Prioritizes with his little head rather then the one up north. Since you weren't serious about her, he probably felt why couldn't HE have a go at her, if she was willing - AND she was.
YOU were hooking up with her, NOT dating her. She decided that she didn't WANT to hook up with you no more, and moved on to another guy, yes! picking your best mate to hook up with is kinda low of both her and your BFF - but how is it any of your business whom she hooks up with? Because YOU caught feelings? Catching feelings doesn't mean you OWN her or she OWE you fidelity. I don't see how they are insulting your intelligence.
As for your BFF, he is somewhat of an asshat extraordinaire, or maybe he knew that you were not serious about her while HE himself had feelings for her... You can't call DIBS on a person. You are not entitled to have your feelings returned or have the "rights" to a person's body.
This is one of the many scenarios you can get with casual sex. You CHOOSE to not be serious about the person you have sex with - THEY choose to do the same, thus swapping her partner out from being you, to being your BFF.
I would ignore this episode ad learn from it. 1. Don't hook up with room-mates 2. if you have feelings for someone don't treat them as casual f-buddies.
...............................
|
