A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I've been with my boyfriend for 4 and a half years and we have 2 beautiful children together. We are supposed to be living together but he's never here. He doesn't have a job but he goes out in the morning (sometimes leaving at half 9) and returnes late at night (the latest being half 2 in the morning) he is a compulsive gambler and lies about everything. He's always out with his friend who is too a compulsive gambler. We're both in our early 20's buy he acts like he's still at school. He won't take responsibility for our children or spend any time with them. They are 3 and 2 years old and all they want is for their daddy to pay them some attention. Me as well. I've spent so many night crying my heart out as I'm so unhappy. He doesn't pay me any attention. He runs me down. Calls me names. Doesn't show me any affection what so ever. It's like tonight. He came back at 10 o'clock and was being nice to me (he's only nice when he wants something) after 45 minutes of being home he told me he was going out to play pool with his friend and would be back by 1am. I burst in to tears as I thought maybe he'd wanna spend sometime with me. I haven't stopped crying. And instead of saying I'll stay here as you are so upset he said I wont be out too late. He says he loves me and that he wants to be with me but it doesn't feel like it. He's making me so depressed. And it's not good for my children as they rely on me for everything. As I support us all. I keep telling him that I can't take this and that it's hurting both our kids and myself. But he just don't care. The only reason i get up every morning are my children. It's very clear that if we didn't have the kids we wouldn't be together now. Even though it doesn't feel like we are. I just don't no what to do! Do I leave him or stay with him for the sake of our children? I've tried leaving him on many occasions but he always manages to pull me back in. I hope someone can give me some advice as I really don't no what to do?
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female
reader, AuntyMaur  +, writes (27 November 2010):
 you deserve so much more - I think you already know the answer inside. Taking the first step is so difficult and the road ahead ititially will be difficult but the light will come and one day you will see the smile on your faces again. Leave him dont hold on to misery- your'e already a single mother doing a beautiful job trying to hold things together- you have strength.
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