A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:This is a complicated story but I will try to make it as simple as I can.I have been married but things haven't been working out due to many reasons. We have been to therapy, try working on our marriage and eventually got to the point where my husband told me he doesn't love and he can't make himself. He told me that I should just divorce him but he won't divorce me because he's comfortable even though he doesn't love me.I'm trying to get enough courage to go ahead with the divorce, break the news to the family, etc and it's not been going well.This has been going on for almost a year and I feel like I need to make a move as soon as I can.A few months ago, however, I met a really nice guy. So far we have just been talking. He knows I'm married but doesn't ask anything about my husband and I don't say anything.Since I'm just beginning to know him and have no clue whether or not there is a potential for a serious relationship (I could have a fling anytime but I'm not interested in that), should I tell him about my situation?I feel like he might think that he has something to do with that which is obviously not true. I also don't want him to think of me as some sad woman who's is considering a divorce and will soon need a man to make her happy.So again, do I say anything to this guy or just keep quiet until I will be moved on with my life?
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female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (9 April 2016):
 I agree. Don't tell him.
Finish your divorce, keep it platonic with the guy. TAKE some time to work through the end of your marriage and how to start again ON YOUR OWN before jumping into a new relationship.
A
female
reader, allthatjazz +, writes (9 April 2016):
 I think it would be wiser if you could avoid the other guy in the meantime that you're sorting things out with your husband. That would be fair not only to these men, but to you also because you deserve to have a happy life whether it's with either one of them, with someone else other than them, or just enjoying being single if and when it all comes down to that. The best way to do that is to start on a clean slate, with no lies and no expectations. Having no new attachments and just being focused on the issue with your husband will make whatever decision you arrive at more sound and genuine. All the best.
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A
male
reader, Garbo +, writes (9 April 2016):
 I wouldn't say anything to that other guy. Your divorce is your business, not his, so focus on getting it done. Once it is done, the fact that you are no longer married will be clear enough of a signal to him, which is when you want that signal to kick in anyway. Meanwhile, keep in touch with him because you obviously see the potential for more with him. I think you should focus on your divorce because you seem trapped in a marriage that has nothing going for you.
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