A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello,I met this girl in my second week at university. She sat beside me, and I talked to her. She was basically the first girl to ever positively respond to me, and she even facilitated the conversations, which was a wholly new situation for me. You could say that we hit it off, at least in relation to my past experiences.Now, the thing is, I have virtually everything going for myself when it comes to attracting women, I just don't, for some reason. So, I am 20 years old (soon 21) and have never had a girlfriend. This girl talking to me was a breath of fresh air. The first time in my life when a girl seemed interested.The problem is/was, that she has/had a boyfriend. She nevertheless went on a date with me. :PShe is single now, although still sad about the break up. Needless to say, this isn't the best time to pursue a relationship with her.She is sort of troubled. Her parents died, and she isn't particularly successful at university - due to various unnecessary distractions, but I digress. I want to help her. She is pretty, so I also want to get into her pants, naturally. I am not sure if I want her very self, or the possibly fictitious imagination of which I developed in my head.My problem is that I am unsure as to the source of my feelings. If it's pity and I mistake it for some derivative of love or infatuation it could end badly for her, if I try to get into a relationship with her, succeed, and realize that I don't actually want her. I have never been in love, so I don't know what it feels like. I have nothing to compare my feelings to. She most certainly doesn't need additional distractions in her life now. On the other hand, she is very lonely, especially now that her boyfriend is gone.Hm. I guess I answered my question. It's best to just be a friend to her, if she is in need of one, and let time make its own decisions.I am still thankful for additional input. :) Especially how to find out what my true feelings are. Cheers.
View related questions:
never had a girlfriend, university Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 October 2010): How did you feel when you was first getting to know her, before you found out about any problems she may be experiencing? If you liked her then and felt interested in her, I don't think you are just feeling sorry for her.
Yep,I agree with what you have said! There is no harm in being a friend to her. I can understand you not wanting things to get messy or complicated, but I think you may be looking too far ahead and panicking a little. Slow down! If you are not sure what your feelings towards her are, that's okay. She probably isn't sure about things either yet. It takes time for feelings to develop, whether friendship or more, and it can take a while for us to figure out how we feel. It isn't immediately clear overnight. It's all about getting to know each other, and it takes time.
So I think you could just carry on as you are, be a friend, try and relax, and see what happens. If it becomes more, great. If it doesn't, no big deal. Just let it happen and unfold, whatever it may be.
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (17 October 2010):
 Yes you did just answer your own question. She is only out of a relationship so dont try and get with her because it will only mess her head up even more. Just be there for her be a friend and just dont cross the line for a while. As you dont want to end u hurting her and vise versa you dont want to end up gettin hurt either.
...............................
|
