A
male
age
51-59,
*ivesinwinnipeg
writes:I am a guy in a 1 year 2 month relationship with a woman with 2 kids 15 and 18. My GF is 42 yo. We are in love and have talked about getting married and having a child although recently she shared that she wont be able to have child after being tested. We have travelled together and get along most of the time but did have a big disagreement in vegas which required seperate cabs back to the hotel.Two months ago we agreed to start living together 5 days a week with me staying at her home as she has the kids.I have a house and she has one too.First part of my question is why does she not trust me when i go to my own home? She says that she is aware that it is her issue and has talked about seeing some one to work through her issues over this, but has yet to go and will use guilt to keep me at her home but I do need to go home to care for the house.She doesnt like my home and has said so by telling me its not safe and the house is small or old.The second part of my question is how long is acceptable to not speak to me when we have a disagreement. Yesterday eve we were watching a movie and in the middle of it she began having a conversation with her 18 yo. I asked her to quiet down as she is a loud talker and couldn't hear the dialague, this upset her and she loudly said that she is talking to her son! I said to talk to him in another room as the movie can't be paused or stopped.She then finnished her talk with him and pouted then got up and went to the bedroom and 24 hrs later she still isnt speaking to me. When i climbed in to bed last night she kicked me very hard in the thigh but didnt say a word. This morning when i left for the office I kissed her on the forhead and told her that I love her, she was awake watching tv but didn't look at me or reply. No texts or calls from her either.As for me I have not ever dealt with this type of behavior in my whole life so am at my wits end wondering what to do.I am staying at her home tonight but don't feel comfortable here tonight. What to do ? ie break up. I have had long term relationships that lasted 7 yrs but havent been married, this is my 4th long term relationship and want it to work and don't want another failed relationship Your advice is appreciated
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female
reader, mystiquek  +, writes (12 March 2013):
 I can certainly understand how you don't want the relationship to fail, but don't you think you'd better sit back and evaluate what you have first.
I wouldn't tolerate someone being angry and sulky for that long of a period of time. You two aren't teenagers, you're in your 40's. Why can't she talk to you? Why does she have to sulk? I agree that sometimes a cooling down period is needed..but not a whole day or more!
I absolutely wouldn't tolerate any kind of physical violence. Why did she think it was ok to kick you?
I'll be honest..if that would have been me, right after she kicked me, I would have said "good night and goodbye" and would have went home.
Your lady is immature and childish. Is the relationship really worth staying for? Me thinks not.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (12 March 2013):
 “why does she not trust me when I go to my own home?”
Livesinwinnipeg, only she knows why she does not trust you, have you asked her?
“how long is acceptable to not speak to me when we have a disagreement?”
Again this is a personal issue for you to decide.
FOR ME personally, there is NO TIME allowed for not speaking to me when we have a disagreement. Pouting and sulking are NOT acceptable in my life. IF my partner cant’ manage to be at minimum civil to me at all times even when angry then it’s not working. I can see maybe 30 minutes to compose yourself but after that it’s sulking and not acceptable to me.
KICKING YOU IS NOT ACCEPTABLE.
Personally if it was me, I’d take myself and my stuff and go to my home and not talk to her for say 3-6 months… and let her see what it feels like. (ok that may be over the top)
you may not want another failed relationship but is this abuse worth it?
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A
male
reader, SensitiveBloke  +, writes (12 March 2013):
 I don't know why she doesn't want you to go home, but she's insecure about something.
Personally i don't think any amount of not speaking to someone is acceptable, but that's just me.
Her behaviour towards you is not good at all. I wouldn't want to be with someone like that myself.
Do you really want to spend the rest of your life with a person who treats you like that?
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