A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:What do I do.I'm in love with my mechanic and I need help, I'm in my late 20s and never been in a serious relationship.I have fancied a few boys but never one like this, everyday I think about him, I crave there to be something wrong with my car just so I can go and see him. I text him every now and then to see how he is or send him dumb questions really just to get a response back from him, when I first met him he was really smiley and friendly he helped me find a couple of my cars that I owned and even helped me move, we went out a couple of times as friends, even my Mum came along a couple of the times as he gets on well with her too.He's had quite a few jokes with me and always smiles when he sees me.When I bought a present for his dog he practically ran to collect the present from me, but something seems weird of late, he hardly ever texts me back when I turn up at the garage to take my car in, if my mums is collecting me, he will talk to her rather than me, or he will tend to move onto the next customer and just doesn't seem to want have the chats we used to have.As far as I am aware neither of us have done anything different and I just don't know what's gone wrong, when I see him my heart skips and feel he could be my soul mate, but I would just be happy to be his friend for now but the contact has seem to have got lost, what do I do?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 March 2013): Just want to say thank you all for the advice I really appreciate I have to now seriously consider what to do next.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 March 2013): You might not think you have come on to him, but it is usually very obvious when someone likes you so you probably wouldn't need to do much for him to notice. I guess it could also be that you are not being obvious enough and he doesn't know you like him, but to be perfectly honest I doubt it. I mean you are talking about the fact you were texting him for a full day once well over a year ago, so it seems you are pretty infatuated with him and that is likely to come across in your behaviour.I think you need to find out one way or the other where you stand. Have you ever asked him out on a date? Has anything ever 'happened' between you, ie a kiss? What were the promises he made you that he didn't keep (not a good sign about his character btw)? Also, has he ever had any other girlfriends in this time? I might be wrong here but it seems as though you are thinking pretty seriously about a man before anything has ever really happened. I know it's easy to get carried away when you really like someone, but please try not to pin all your hopes on him just yet so you don't get hurt. All the best!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 March 2013): Thank you both for the advice, I appreciate them both. I don't think the problem is my Mum as he knew her before he knew me and she introduced me to him, they get on really well and she has cooked a couple of meals for him and the other chap he works with. He made a lot of promises which jus seem to have dissolved and they didn't include anything do with my Mum. I don't think I have particularly come onto him but I guess you could me write, but Christmas year before last he texted me for most of the evening, we've been out to the cinema, he's let me help him out with things, he always notices if I have had my hair done, so am just confused by it.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 March 2013): Has he ever said he likes you as more than a friend? I know it's not what you want to hear, but it could be that he has worked out how much you like him and he is distancing himself because he doesn't feel the same. To be honest I think you are placing far too much hope in this one guy when there is no promise of a relationship with him. You need to get out and meet different men, go on dates and see what happens. If you really can't get over him then I'd suggest you ask him out on a date. If he says yes then great, but if he says no then you need to start moving on and looking for someone else. You say you are happy to only be his friend for now, but believe me it is terribly painful to be friends with someone you love when they don't love you back, and it's not really healthy to keep a relationship like that going either.
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A
female
reader, Abella  +, writes (12 March 2013):
 I think having your mother come along too possibly freaked him out.
You are of an age where it is time you developed a stronger network of friends, without your mother coming along too, before you even think of dating.
Start developing your own network. Joint a gym. Join a zumba class or a yoga class.
consider joining a social group such as: https://www.hensdancing.com/about-us/
Without your mother accompanying you to the group meetings.
Develop some hobbies where you are likely to meet some guys. Such as learn trout fishing.
Join a charity or a service group where people are in a mixed group. And do good charitable works to help those less fortunate than you. Volunteering can take the form of a once a month commitment of your time.
Book a holiday where the participants are all most likely to be aged 25 to 35 years old and no older. Your travel agent can suggest suitable options. Save up for such a trip if you need to.
Forge a more independant focus where any thought of your mother coming along too is not an option.
Separately you can still meet your mother and go shopping with her.
But when you are interacting with potential dates your Mother needs to have her own interests. And her own set of friends.
Don't let your mother crowd you out of becoming more independant.
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