A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Same person who just wrote in about starting over sexually I just thought this was different enough for a new entry--I don't like to shave or really even trim my bush, I do very minimal maintenance.Once you're at that crossroads, where you're probably going to have sex, is it fair to say that dudes don't care or could it be a deal breaker?If I were with someone I knew for a while I wouldn't feel a need to explain myself, with more casual situations, I feel like I almost should apologize? Which also feels stupid to me, and I don't want to come off as insecure. I was in a situation recently where a guy was interested in me and I felt like I needed to give some " FYI I don't shave disclaimer" --want dudes to weigh in on this one. Thanks.
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 October 2014): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI can't imagine keeping up with actually changing my behavior even if I happened to get some negative feedback! Rather that than ingrown hairs and discomfort, but I do like hearing everyone's input on whether dudes would just throw in the towel after seeing me or secretly judge me, that's nt cool. Thanks for the feedback!
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 September 2014): Cindy, the hair may be the same, but the coating is different.
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (19 September 2014):
 Eyeswideopen: good point . I concede that :). It's just that I have a problem with people who , more often than not, have furry BUTTS, telling me that I have to remove all of my hair to be acceptable.
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female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (19 September 2014):
 Yeah but Cindy the poor creatures have to shave their faces and even their necks too so maybe expecting armpits is just simply too much shaving...
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female
reader, CindyCares +, writes (19 September 2014):
But that's the point, anon reader of Sept.19th :
I can't claim that I have slept with all the 150.000.000 of American men, for instance, ( I was trying my best, but then I got called back to Europe,couldn't finish....NOOOOO. This was a joke, obviously. I am kidding )- but, from what I have seen and what I have been told, only a few diehard metrosexuals shave it all. The majority leave their groin natural, or just give it a healfhearted trim every now and then.
So, why is it that female hair is disgusting and must go, and male hair isn't and can stay ?
It's the same hair, it has the same odour,colour and texture and it traps sweat the same.
Heck, men usually don't even shave their armpits, as for that ! What gives ?
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 September 2014): I think it is for sure a deal breaker it is so much better to be clean shaven. most of the time when a girl complains that she doesn't want to shave down there, or that it to much like a little girl. I just reply do you think I should have a big bush down there too? and right away they get it.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 September 2014): I know a guy who dumped someone he was dating because of her hairy fanny, and another for whom it is a dealbreaker, it really depends on the person! For me it's fine
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 September 2014): I remember a guy herein his 20s was asking is it natural to have few hairs around anus, because during sex he noticed few hairs on his girlfriend.
New generation sees porn with no pubic hair whatsoever, it became a norm.
I was an 80s teen when no one shaved. I liked it trimmed at first. But then I shaved it once and started shaving from then on. Andi had to ask guys the opposite: if they are ok with me not having any hair down there. Almost all of them said , no problem, but they also asked why I had to do it.
I don't think you have to explain yourself, but the reality is that it's not very ussual nowdays to have all this hair there.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 September 2014): I don't think any guy has the right to say anything about your bush. I love a nice hairy bush on a woman, shaved makes me feel like I'm a child molester. Any decent guy would not really care, if they do it's immature behavior far as I'm concerned. I've given oral sex to shaved and unshaved, hairy is the best.
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female
reader, CindyCares +, writes (12 September 2014):
With ref. to your follow up, I think that a preliminary disclaimer would only be mandatory IF shaving or trimming down there was mandatory, and not doing it a blatant breach of etiquette , common sense or safety. But, contrariously to popular beliefs of a porn - raised generation, it's not. It's still a personal, individual, free choice. Hygiene - smelling clean and BEING clean is a must ; hair grooming , wherever the hair is located ,is an optional and as such does not need to get pre-approval. If they have a problem with a full bush- they can tell you ( politely . They have right too to express their preferences, in respectful ways ). What then you want to do with this info ( " I hate a full bush " ) is up to you. You could always suggest that THEY start first shaving it all ( you don't like hairs in your mouth either, do you ? ) and you'll follow suit :).
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 September 2014): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionGuess I'm just trying to figure out if what I'm doing is discourteous, especially in a situation where I don't know the person well. If I liked a person and felt comfortable around them or trusted them then I wouldn't care what I did, but if it was someone I just met and wanted to fool around, I feel more like I'd owe a statement to them in that way.
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female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (11 September 2014):
I think some dudes do care and some don't. If you are this concerned about how your personal grooming habits will be received then ask him about his and disclose yours if you don't want anyone to be surprised in any way.
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A
male
reader, Mark1978  +, writes (11 September 2014):
 Hi there,
Unless your pubes poke out the bottom of your trousers or flair out of your waist band I don't see an issue. keeping it trimmed to a more "manageable" level is probably a good idea though and more hygienic but other than that you do what you like and no you don't need to explain to anyone prior to sex whether or not you use the special attachment on your Ladyshave.
You can do what you want with your little garden - Crew cut, short back and sides, tram lines, full on hedge, star shape or highlights! Either way be proud and be happy!
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female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (11 September 2014):
 A little "trim" might actually not be a bad idea (makes periods less... messy, to put it delicately).
Do you have to shave in order to keep a guy happy? I'd say no. If you prefer a full bush, half bush, trimmed hedge, landing strip, bikini waxed or fully waxed THAT is up to YOU - it's YOUR body.
And honestly if you run into a guy like the first anon who says it's a deal breaker, then it would be a DEAL BREAKER for you to have a guy try and dictate how you should keep your private parts.
If this is a guy you want to date long term, then I can't see why (before sex) you two talk about expectations including shaved, not shaved.... What not.
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male
reader, CMMP +, writes (11 September 2014):
Unless it's a jungle you should be fine, no need for a disclaimer. A mature guy will be fine, if he doesn't like it then it's not your problem.
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (11 September 2014):
 no need to tell them... they will notice.
there was a time not too long ago that no one removed their pubic hair. even trimming was not done.
if they don't like pubic hair how will that matter..
you don't shave and that's fine... if you meet a man who wants you shaved... will you do it to please him?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 September 2014): Deal breaker for me. It would be the first and last time we had sex. I just find it really unattractive...
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