A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:My wife and I have been together for 12 years now but she asked me to leave for a while, She said she needed space, Time alone, Wanted me to keep in touch with her. She started having a thing for one of her work friends, It's a guy who is married and has two kids. He calls her every night after he gets off and they talk in private for about 20 minutes to a half-hour. I joked around and said she was eat-up with him, Well she told me she had a small crush on him.she said that she hadn't acted on it. I feel that his calling has become a threat to our relationship, She keeps telling me that There is nothing going on, But her body language might be telling me something else. friends tell me to cut all contact with her. I love her so much but when I tried cutting contact, She told me that would only push her further away. I have tried everything to make our marriage work. What I think I need to be asking is, Do I need to confront the married friend that keeps calling every night?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 September 2010): you are just plan B in case this guy doesn't work out. I agree with the other answers. Call your lawyer and then your locksmith.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 September 2010): I would stop wasting your time on her but if you need to call somebody call his wife. He has a lot more to lose than you do.
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (24 September 2010):
 All those who have responded so far have been other men, so here is a female's perspective. I agree with each and every one of them.
Act quickly to quarantine your assets, and then lay it on the line, its you or him, but be prepared to accept her decision and dont waver.
My gut tells me your marriage is over, but I hope you still give it a second chance (but not a third!)
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 September 2010): Time "alone", eh? I have a bad feeling about this.
Cutting contact would only push her further away, she said? This seems "emotional blackmail" (google it up). She probably already uses your money to pay for her dates, I'm afraid. Someone (you) who pays for dates is useful to her.
Hopefully I'm wrong. But do plan for the worst.
Quietly bulletproof your assets and plan for a divorce.
Then SHE won't know what hit her. And you'll be free to find a worthier woman if you two break up.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (24 September 2010):
She's playing you. You even did the right thing by cutting contact and all she said was 'that'll push me further away'. Well her having an emotional affair with a married man is pushing you away. I wouldn't bother confronting her married friend. It won't make a difference. Instead, tell her that she either cuts contact with him and works on the marriage, or you'll end it. And mean it. You're being played like a violin, and she's getting away with it. Stop wasting your time on this woman, who so clearly doesn't care.
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A
male
reader, Boonridge McPhalify +, writes (24 September 2010):
 she has no respect for you, i think what you need to do is get away from her and think about wether or not she has treated you like you deserve to be treated. if she has treated you badly why stay? how are you financially involved with her? do you lose money if you leave and walk away?
she sounds like she isn't very interested in you, telling you she has a crush is just a form of mentally torturing you to make herself feel wanted.
she isn't a good person for your mental health from the behaviour you have described
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