A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I have been together for two months, after an on-off relationship for two years. I am 28 and he is 26. The timing was finally right for us to be together, and we are so in love. He is the one, we already have plans for the future and I have a 3-diamond promise ring. Next fall he will be going away to school for a year, but after that he will get a job and we plan to settle down and do the house/marriage/family thing. Currently I live in an apartment with a roommate who is never home. So my boyfriend, Alex, is over all the time. We see each other pretty much every day after he gets out of school and I get out of work. We eat together, run errands together, etc, and he frequently stays over at night too. Recently I have started realizing I need my space sometimes, and if I don't get it I feel resentful and irritated. We usually have one day a week where we don't see each other, and it helps. But I am still feeling a little smothered. I really can't control it, either. We will be hanging out and he will ask if he can stay the night, and I say yes. Then when we go to the bedroom to lay down, I find myself wanting to be alone for the rest of the night. I don't really know how to tell him though. He will try to touch me and I shrug him off until he gets the hint. This has happened a few times now. He is hurt and frustrated and doesn't understand. But I don't understand either... is it because I need at least SOME "me time" everyday? Is it because I feel crowded? I'm not falling out of love, right? I can't figure out what is going on in my head.. someone tell me!
View related questions:
roommate Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Thornbirds  +, writes (30 March 2011):
 People only really get to know one another when they live under the same roof. I'm afraid you are turned off by some petty things about him which you can't figure out by yourself, such as habits, or behavior you don't know before. ( I just presume)You might have wrong perceptions of him until you are made aware when you get to know the real person. It's like having a new friends,everything is nice and tolerable at first, once you get to know the real person,without any reason,you both slowly, simply drift away because you are not compatible with each other. Give more time to observe your feelings. If the negative feelings don't change for the better,that lovin' feeling won't come back anymore..back off then before you both suffer. If at this point, at times you cannot tolerate his presence,you can't excuse yourself from being a wife later on and tell him, "Hey,can I be single once a week? I can't tolerate your presence on my bed." Take your time and do reality check of how you feel about him before it's too late.
A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (30 March 2011):
 You just need a little more space. That much time together can be overwhelming, especially jumping back into it after some time off. It has nothing to do with falling out of love.
What you need to do is talk to him about it. Tell him that you love him, and the time you spend together, but it's a little too much for you at the moment. Remind him that you still love him but you just want one more day a week where you don't spend the WHOLE day together. You can present it in a way where it won't hurt him, at least not very badly. You just need to offer lots of reassurance it doesn't mean you don't love him. It's more of a measure to prevent you from getting sick of him.
...............................
|
