A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:hi their i have a relationship problem.me and my bf have been dating for over 4 months and we new each other for atleast 4 months before that. we both got out of a relationship 2 months before we got together. sometimes in my mind i wonder if it was too soon, also its long distance and im wondering if i should of done that too. then he has a friend female who is flirty like hell.. i had a bad feeling in my gut about her. last time i had one it turned out my friends bf was cheating on her so that freaked me out..he told me they were talking about something and she says we shouldnt do anything i have a bf, and he say, well i have a gf - well sheiknow about me at that point..so that freaked me out more that they were making those sort of references.so we had a little disagreement that she shouldnt be such a flirt, it might get her introuble one day and he said, well im trying to help her stop or at least calm it down..so we never really spoke about it again. but when he says her name it irrates me, and pulls on my heart strings.i've been cheated on in the past and so has my bf and i guess i dont have any reason not to trust him, maybe my insecurities is getting the better of me..i havent even met her, but i just have some reason not to like her. is it just being insecure? or is it women's intution? their meeting up again and to say the least im not to thrilled about it either i dont know were their meeting. i love him dearly and i wanted this sorted out but i just dont know how. i havent been in this situation before, The last time i found out my ex had cheated and i dont want to drive away my man or paint him with the same brush - it isnt fair. is there anyway to curb my feelings about this ide say witch but lets say women lol ? i know he loves me and would do just about anything for me, and i want to be hopeful about this relationship as i would do anything for him! do i need help? is their something wrong with me? i feel like this is bringing me down and i dont want to be depressed before xmas as he is coming to see me again in a month or two. please help me i just dont know what to do about it all.thanks in advance WA x
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 October 2008): whenever you have a gut feeling it is telling you something a guy is a guy and yes he probrably did something
A
female
reader, Faybelline +, writes (1 October 2008):
 If you've been cheated on before, it's no surprise you have insecurities, specially in a long distance relationship but you are right; you can't paint this new guy with the same brush.I would recommend that you meet this female friend of his; maybe you could all go for drinks next time you visit him? This might help settle you a bit.The other thing I would say is that you need to think about it; do you honestly believe he would cheat on you?You say he loves you and would do anything for you; so why would you also think negatively of him?TThe fact that he's mentioned this girl to you is also a positive sign; if there was something going on don't you think he would want to keep it as secret as possible and avoid mentioning her?I think there are obviously some things from your past that are affecting your judgement and it is totally understandable that you feel this way about his friend. I would suggest telling him how you feel in a non-confrontational way and explain that you find it difficult but you are trying to deal with it; I'm sure he'd understand given that you say he has been cheated on before.Just remember; the more you think negatively and get upset about it, the more it will push him away. If you talk about it now you may be able to stop it being a problem; it sounds like you love each other a lot and I don't see why you should let it come between you.
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