A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:help, i need advice--my boyfriend of over two years suddenly broke up with me, after asking for a reason he told me that he had cheated on me last year and the day before we broke, he said that he couldn't go on lying to me, he felt to guilty and i deserved somebody better, and it would be best for both. -we stayed friends,but we were txting each other talking about the relationship what went wrong and why he couldn't tell me sooner.there was still jokes and fliration and we even hooked up one evening. we stayed in contact which made things harder, because i didn't feel like the relationship had run its course,as the break up came with no warning.- now as we talk he admittes that he wants to try and make it work and he didn't think this through properly. though i am obviously hurt that he cheated, i'm am more so to the fact that he didn't tell me when it happened.and i can't just let him back with out some kind of reassurance by him,and i need him to suffer in a way.we are both in our early twenties and realise that we are very younge to be in a relationship, and have descused just leaving it, and see what happens, but both are afraid of loosing each other. i don't know what to do, a lot of water has gone under the bridge and it may never be the same again, but i would rather find out if we can do this now, rather than 2 years down the line..please help am i mad for concidering to try and make this work, or am i setting myself up for a bigger fall.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 October 2008): I truly believe that the relationship has run its course. After the breakup with him, all the questions from you about what went wrong I believe was a way to prevent yourself from letting go. No-one needs an explanation as to why someone cheated on them. Some people just cheat. Once this has happened, it is difficult to rebuild the trust. Without trust you will be forever questioning his every move. My advice would be to tell the guy it's over. If he is truly interested in making this happen, he will fight for it. MAYBE depending on how much he grovels (which he should) then you can consider. But don't just take him back. You will be telling him its ok to treat you the way he did. Good luck... cheating is truly a poison to a relationship.
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