A
male
age
41-50,
*dx1983
writes:HiIve got an issue with my girlfriend at the moment, we have been together now for almost 5 years... its been a pretty intense relationship really with plenty of ups and downs but we have never seperated in this time.At the moment we are taking a break from each other, i have moved out and am actually sleeping at work! while she stays in our rental house (i have no problem with this)My question is, my girlfriend says she loves me and cannot see herself without me at all but at the moment im feeling no love from her at all, its like shes shutting me off completely. I went round last night and stayed in the spare room and she thanked me for staying in the house with her and hugged me. Today though shes as cold as ice, i asked her if she wanted to go christmas shopping on sunday and she said 'I dont know :(' for some reason this really got to me and it just feels like she doesnt want me any more.She has a friend's birthday party to go to on saturday and im just dreading her finding someone else or going home with them :/Not sure what to do really, do I let her be and give her the space and let her come back in her own time? (she does text me a lot saying she misses me) or do i try and resolve things.... i know the old saying if you love something let it go... i suppose this applys :(
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a break, at work, christmas, moved out, text Reply to this Question
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male
reader, pdx1983 +, writes (19 November 2010):
pdx1983 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI understand that, my girlfriend is someone i will never get again i know that. I would hate for us to split up.
There has beena slight development in that i am now back at home im our bed but i still get the cold shoulder....she does hug me and says she loves me etc but dont know if its an act for me to keep her company or if she does really want me there.
She doesnt come near me sexually and hasnt for a few weeks which i dont understand fully and does make me think she just wants me there for company
A
female
reader, Viv Acious  +, writes (15 November 2010):
Hmmm...I don't know the nature of your 'ups and downs' over the last five years but the facts are - you have moved out, you have then stayed over, she wants to be with you and is alternatively affectionate then cold.
From what I am reading, I suggest what you do is google co-dependent relationships. It seems as if you are in a 'come here, go away' cycle - When one person is available the other tends to pull away. If the first person becomes unavailable the other comes back and pleads to be let back in.
This may help you get an understanding of what is happening.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 November 2010): sometimes people need space to grow. particularly those who got together young. its hard to find yourself and who you are when you are worried about soemone els. and in my personal experiance it is hard to be content with what you have if you are allways woundering about what you didnt get a chance to have. my advice to you would be to take advantige of this time to do some exploring and growing up yourself if the two of you truly love eachouther and want to be together it will happen. this is YOUR chance to have what you may never get again. enjoy it
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