A
female
age
51-59,
*upersassygirl
writes:Ive been seeing a man who keeps trying to drag me out of my relationship of marriage. I am unhappy, undersexed and completely dissatisfied in my marriage. The problem is im in love with the new/old guy, actually an old guy from middle school. i want to leave my unhappy marriage but am afraid to go out on my own, even for pure soulmate happiness. what do i do?
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 November 2010): It sounds like you've been married for a long time and are financially dependent on your spouse. And it sounds to me like the old friend is a mere attraction and not love.
I think the wisest thing for you to do is to get the old friend out of your life and work on your marriage before it's too late.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 October 2010): Every new lover is your soul mate until you have to manage the bills, the mortgage, the kids, the day to day reality of living with someone in a serious long term relationship for umpteen years.
Then they are just the pain in the ass spouse.
Look get counseling for yourself at least, break off the relationship with the boyfriend till you understand yourself better.
Otherwise you will end up in a new relationship "new person, same old problems".
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 October 2010): Let me tell you what. In every relatonship you reach a point where one doesn't feel loved, look for another person or try to move out. People moves out to a new relation looking for happy times as its an easy option and doesnt want to take pain in working out on relationship. When the honeymoon period of the new relayionship ends then that person reach to same place where he/she was in the previous relationship.
If a person expects that a relationship will be full of happy moments then that is absolutely wrong. That cannot be. One always have to work on a relationship and make it work.
Since I have heard view of only party(ie..you and not your husband)I suggest it would be good if you both go for counselling and make relationship work.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 October 2010): If your marriage is that bad then leave...why cheat? What's the point? You are probably afraid that if you leave your husband for this other guy, things may not work out and then you will be stuck with being alone and dealing with the consequences of your actions. Look, there is a price to pay for everything we do in this life..take it or leave it. There is not way around it.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 October 2010): Happen to be in a similar situation to you. I won't judge on the cheating although you havent said if is emotional or physical. If emotional well that can sneak up on you and catch you totally off gaurd. My advice to you and maybe myself now is try a separation, look after yourself for a bit without the other man, if he is genuine he will understand and wait. be honest with your husband about the need for separation. Life's short to be unhappy. Although you haven't mentioned how long you have been married and if the problems were in existence before the new/old guy came back into your life. I don't think if would be wise for you to jump straight from your husband to the new guy.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (3 October 2010):
 Well first off i will try and not be judgemental, but cheating is really not nice i dont like it, think of what it would do to your husband if he found out. Basically i think you have two options here:
One- Stay with your husband and try and work things out but dont cheat on him with this other guy.
Two- If you feel that your marriage is over and you are not happy anymore then dont be miserable, everyone deserves to be happy, so if you arent and you prefer to have this other man then you need to tell your husband you want to seperate tell him that you arent happy anymore.
Whichever way you go good luck and hope you have a happy future.
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