A
female
age
36-40,
*ookie_k
writes:ive been with my boyfriend for three years and we selpt together and im not a virgin anymore but here in egypt you cant tell that you`re not a virgin.one year ago i lied to him but i didnt mean to i was supposed to travel for the weekend but i didnt i stayed at a hotel with my girl friends after a week he found out then he broke up with me after 1 month we`re back again but i guess the only reason he`s with me again cuz he slept with me.since this lie he cant trust me anymore and we always fight and in every fight he brings up the lie thing..i thought alot of leaving him but i just cant cuz im not a virgin anymore and this is a huge thing in our society..i really need helpshould i just leave him or what????
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female
reader, TELLULAH  +, writes (13 November 2007):
 Hi,
I am just interested to know why you had to lie to him just because you wanted some time wiith your friends. Its not a crime is it?
And I totally agree with the others, you shouldnt stay with the guy just because your not a virgin anymore. If you have to lie to get some time away from him, it doesnt make your future with him, sound very rosey anyway does it?.
XX Good luck
A
female
reader, lilgirly  +, writes (13 November 2007):
 hey,
you are right, being a virgin is a very big deal in the middle east.not only in eygpt but here too!
but it isn't a good reason to stay with someone you don't love, so if you don't love him break up with him.and don't have sex again till when you are sure that you want to be with that person( marry), and before you marry him tell him about your story ( if he really loves you he will understand), i know that it is hard( very hard),you can have surgery that would get you back in being a virgin.and if you don't want to go to surgery, tell the person you love or trust about your situation, discuss it with people who love you , and i am sure that you would find a solution!
but if you do love him, well do everything to gain his trust again.
good luck! byeXXX
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 November 2007): You told a lie and got found out, so what? You didnt kill anyone! You are forgiven in my book for telling a little white lie like that but if you had lied about sleeping with someone else and your partner had found out then that is different. If you have said you are sorry then that should be enough. You shouldnt have to stay with him just because of the virgin bit either. I would tell him that you did it, sorry and he has to forget about it or push off. If he doesnt like it then get rid of him. Life is much too short to put up with this cr*p!!!!
How will your next partner know that you are not a virgin? Some women are naturally big down there anyway, so dont say a word about your past. It wont do you any favours being honest about this in your country.
take care
xx
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A
female
reader, Minelisse  +, writes (13 November 2007):
 This is a very delicate situation to give advice to, and, because I am not literate on your culture, I shouldn't. If you can, answer these follow up questions for me:
What would happen to you if you said you were not a virgin to your next partner? Do you think you could work things out (the trust issue) with your current partner? Are there any other serious issues to your current relationship? What other alternatives do you have?
Best of lucks!
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A
female
reader, Love*Fool  +, writes (13 November 2007):
 It sounds as if you'll have to regain his trust for it to work.
Talk to him! Tell him that you know that you've betrayed his trust and you want to work at regaining it. If the two of you are really into each other, I don't see why you should break up. Tell him that you know you messed up by not telling him the truth over such a silly thing.
Tell him how you feel when he brings it up in fights and that you want to move on from this. If he says there's no way for you to move on from it, there may be no choice for you to just break it off.
Good luck!
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