A
female
age
36-40,
*nsidemymind
writes:I need some help in choosing whether or not to be with my fiance anymore. I'm 20 and he's 23, we have a baby together and we've been together for 2 years now. Before anyone judges me on having a baby, she was no accident. It was a decision that was made for me due to cancer in my uterus.We've been together for two years now, and other than the first three months which were joyous and filled with affection we've been fighting non-stop. More than once a day, and then we'll make up after, but without any resolution. He hates to talk about anything, he tells me everything is my fault and that I'm crazy and hard to live with.All of our money is together, but all of the debt ($20 000) is in my name. He won't let us each have a few bucks a month to spend on whatever we want because he likes to approve all my purchases.He won't let me leave him, every time I try he guilts me into staying, or blocks the door, or won't let me take the baby. He said once (jokingly...but still) that if we ever broke up he would get custody of the baby because he could prove I was unfit to be a mother.I don't enjoy being with him most of the time, and I'm not sure if I still love him. But sometimes I do and I am. I am so confused and afraid to leave him because I don't want to be alone, and I don't want to be too hasty in forcing our baby to have two seperate homes.Help!
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male
reader, baddogbj  +, writes (14 November 2008):
 Get out now. It will not get better.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 November 2008): You are very young and shouldn't have to put up with this bullying or controlling behaviour. My ex husband tried 'the unfit mother' approach on me and he was laughed out of court. Unless you have a drug dependency which is proveable, you are suicidially depressed which has to be proven by a doctor, you are out having sex with men everynight and your child is left alone he can say what he likes but no one will be able to take your baby from you. Ex prisoners get their children returned as soon as they are out so he is talking rubbish.Mental abuse is tiring and brings you down. If you have family I suggest you go and stay with them for a while. At such a young age you will easily be able to forge a nicer life for you and your child. I don't doubt your fiance loves you very much but he seems to be very insecure so dominates you, has to know exactly what you are doing etc because he is frightened you will leave him, the one thing he doesn't want but is pushing you towards. It may help if you tell him you understand his insecurities but him being so dominant is making you very unhappy and explain what he does that you find unacceptable. If you do this and he still refuses to change then for your own sanity I suggest you leave.
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