Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 January 2013): Since you are refusing adoption or abortion then you should divorce your husband. You can't have everything you want in life and losing your marriage is the price you will have to pay for betraying that marriage.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 January 2013): if your husband doesn't want you to have this child (and no one can blame him for that) but you do, then the only solution is you have to divorce your husband. It's totally unfair to make him raise a child that is not his, that resulted from your betrayal of him. Have some compassion for your husband! Let him go so he can find a new woman who will love and cherish him and treat him properly the way a wife should.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 January 2013): "Following her heart and instincts" so far has led to the situation the OP is in now. Its time to put the feelings in check and apply some rational thinking for a change.As for raising a baby from an affair - the husband objects because he has self-respect. Labeling it "manly pride" makes it sound more like some kind of weakness he should get over. That is being unfair to him. Men have an obligation to do what's best for the child - when its really their child. A child that he didn't father and didn't voluntarily adopt is not his responsibility.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 January 2013): I suppose your husband wants you to have an abortion as it hurts his manly pride that another man has got you pregnant. But there is always the outside chance that it is his.
Look, you want a baby and you are pregnant. Keep the child for goodness sake, regardless of what relationship you do or do not end up it. You mustn't allow yourself to be talked into or bullied into anything. Follow your own heart and instincts and don't do anything you might regret later.
...............................
A
female
reader, R1  +, writes (11 January 2013):
 If you want the child then you can be a good mum regardless of what the potential fathers do. You were in a difficult situation if you wanted children and your husband couldn't produce them, this situation had to end somehow and maybe this is one way of doing that
...............................
A
female
reader, bunny2k35 +, writes (11 January 2013):
bunny2k35 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for your advice I have told my husband and the other guy that there is a possibility they could be the father even though my husband only has a small chance it's still not no chance at all abortion is just not an option nor is adoption I Will love this child regardless of who the dad is x
...............................
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465  +, writes (10 January 2013):
 Bunny: It sounds as if aborting this pregnancy is out of the question.... For that, I commend you. HOWEVER.....
IF this child is the fruit of your one-night stand... AND you want your marriage to endure.... THEN you have to reconcile this incident with your hubby, first.... and with the miscreant "Father" later..... THUS....
How about having the baby and potential fathers checked for paternity.... and IF this interloper really IS the "father".... agree with hubby that you are going to give this baby up for adoption.... so that YOUR child will have a chance at a reasonably NORMAL life... with a loving family... .and without any/all stigma that he/she faces, now?
This is a serious enigma, for all involved... and I hope that you adults come to a suitable decision....
Good luck....
...............................
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (10 January 2013):
 It's possible your husband is the father. truly.
I know a woman who was told she could NOT have children.
she had one ovary and a fallopian tube on the OPPOSITE side.... she has two naturally conceived children.
I know another woman who had ten years of unprotected marital sex and had resigned herself to being childless for her entire life and was OK with it. Her daughter also conceived naturally will be a year old in March.
I assume you had unprotected sex with this friend on that one drunken night and you have checked your charts and know that you were ovulating around that time.... and you have told your husband of your betrayal..... and while he's willing to forgive you (wow) he's not willing to have it thrown in his face day after day if the child is not his.
If you want to keep the baby and your husband does not (and that's understandable) you will have to be a single mom and then have a paternity test and sue whomever the bio dad is for support for their child.
On the other hand you could enact the Lord Mansfield Rule.
that is an old law sometimes still used here in the USA to determine responsibility for the child. IT states that if a woman is married, that the man she is married to is the legal father of any children she gives birth to and therefore is the responsible party. It stems from Lord Mansfield not being able to keep it in his pants and impregnating half of the town's women and not wanting to be responsible for them....
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 January 2013): I dont understand, your friends nothing more than one druken night you fell pregnant? No you slept with this man whilst you were drunk and being drunk isnt an excuse to cheat; dont use it. Decide what you want most and what you think the right this to do.
...............................
A
female
reader, R1 +, writes (10 January 2013):
I'm assuming you told your husband about sleeping with another man if he wants you to have an abortion. HAve you told the other man he is the father? If the other man isn't interested is it possible your husband may come round to the idea of raising this baby as his own.
...............................
| 