A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:So I've gotten myself into a mess, I've fallen for an older guy, I'm 22 and he's 37. We work together in a job that requires close teamwork and having to have each other's backs. That is difficult when we're going the physical training side of the job, we always end up partnered up!In the course of this there was chemistry which our colleagues all noticed but we ignored it until recently. He has a partner but I know that things aren't right with them (he told me that, and I was like, no it's all talk but a few people have told me it too)I'm leaving in a couple months and don't know whether to just see where it goes with him before I go or try to resist the chemistry?? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (1 April 2009):
If he has a partner hun then no matter how much you want him, he is still off limits.
You can get him but you have to be strong and a bit hard about it.
For now, you need to do NOTHING. You don't need the added pressure of office gossip and you need him to want you but know that nothing is going to happen. So be your usual cool brilliant and sexy (summer is coming so dresses area good option) self but nothing more.
Then, when you are leaving, ask him out for a drink. This is the hard bit because you need to "let the drink do the talking" but remain completely in control, so line your stomach and go easy on it all.
When you are alone, and possibly flirting, at the END of the night, tell him that you wish he was single. Tell him you really like him but would never do anything with a guy who had someone. You are NOT that kind of girl.
Get close to him, give him ALL the kiss me signals, but if he tries then pull back, say you are sorry and you don't mean to lead him on. You know he has someone and you just can't. Tell him that you don't think you can be just friend with him as it's not fair on you, him or his partner. Give him a long goodbye hug and tell him that if he's ever single that he should call you.
Then leave him knowing that you are:
a) gorgeous
b) brilliant
c) you want him and would rock his world
d) that he needs to get out of his relationship if he's not happy and give you a call.
It may not work, but it's your best bet.
If you do anything else then you risk being pulled into being the other woman. That is NEVER a good place to be.
So stay strong and play it cool.
Good Luck!! xx
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