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female
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*eryicka
writes: My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost three years. I met him when I was in Boone where I went to college and I got a good job so I decided to move there after I graduated in May. Things were amazing between us, except he complained about his job a lot. He is still in college and once school started he became extremely unhappy. I thought he was just in a rut and I tried to be there for him. He then decided that he was going to quit his job. A week later he told me that he thought we should break up because he felt too tied down, but then we talked and he changed his mind. The next day he said he felt weird and broke up with me only to call me the next day crying and asking to take him back. Things were ok for the next week, but hot and cold. Sometimes he was happy sometimes he was sad. But we got in a fight and I told hiim I needed space and we didnt talk for a few days. He then got very mad and made up a stupid excuse and broke up with me again. A few days later he asked to come over and get some things. So I agreed, but he proceeded to fix my bike, check my oil, hang out for a bit and then invite me to Thanksgiving. He said he still wanted me in his life, but did not regret his decision not to be with me. He then sent me a text a few days later saying he missed me and was lonely. But as I confronted him about it he got very angry and said that he doesnt remembrer doing it and he was probabaly drunk. We haven't talked since then. He is clearly taking me on this emotional rollerocaster and I am letting him. But he is my best friend and a huge part of my life. Do I just let him go or do I remain his friend and try to be there for him? I know he is going through things that are out of my control, but I just don't feel like it is over between us. Is that naive? I am just extremely confused.
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female
reader, vina_101  +, writes (10 October 2006):
 Basically you need to talk to him about the whole thing. Tell him what you've just said now and see where it goes from there. He is clearly stringing you along and it's not fair on you. I understand that he is your friend and you still care about him but at the end of the day...it's not really fair for him to be confusing you like this. Have a talk with him and explain to him how you feel. And I do think you two should still be friends you seem to get on well. But find out how he feels about you before you accept him as a friend again.
A
female
reader, sleepysly +, writes (10 October 2006):
 hi, in my opinion you should move on,we all would like a fool to be there for us if and when needed, the trouble is you dont treat your friends like crap,a friend is a good thing, someone that is there for you at all times, not only when they are needed.to me it sounds like he dont want a friend, he does seem to want you to be there if anything goes wrong,you know a back up plan. the trouble with that though is hes not being nice to you ,infact hes making you unhappy,he seems to be taking you through a mixture of emotions, let me ask you. if you met someone genuine dont you think he would be upset about how this so called friend is treating you?wouldnt it cause problems for you both? ask him what he wants if its not you move swiftly onwards. he will only make you unhappy you obviously like him or you wouldnt be bothered. he will or has already found someone else. good luck.
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