A
female
age
41-50,
*atient1
writes:I am so stressed out and overwhelmed. To try and make a long story short, I've been with my alcoholic husband for 6 years and we have 2 boys (ages 5 and 3). The past two years my husband has increased his drinking considerably. He used to be happy go lucky and sensitive. Now he's become angry, hateful and mentally and on 3 seperate occasions physically abusive. It used to be off and on and he would appologize the next day and say how sorry he was and then we'd be fine until the next time. We both carry a tremendous amount of stress, as do most people, but I don't think he knows how to deal with it, he just gets angry and blames me for everything. I've been trying to stick it out with him because I do love the man that I married, but not the man who he has become. He is being forced to go through ASAP and transition classes because he has gotten his 2nd DUI within 10 years. I've been hoping the classes would help, but it's only added a tremendous amount of stress and financial strain. On the days that he does not have to go to his alcohol programs he is still drinking considerably. His mother passed away in January of this year and I've considered his feelings on that and I've been very supportive and understanding. But the anger and chaos started 2 years ago and it only continues to grow with every delimma or problem he or we have. For the past 2 weeks we argue almost every day because he's just so drab and hateful every day. I've talked about seperating from him and he says to go ahead and not to expect any financial support for the kids until he gets a court order. I get the kids ready and drop them off at daycare (pre-school) everyday (which I pay $210.00 a week for)then I drive approximately 40 miles to work, then I have to pick them up by 6pm, and feed them, help them with their school work, bathe them, and put them to bed. I pay for our medical $100.00 a week and our auto insurance $200.00 a month and I have very little money left over after that. I don't want to take anxiety pills but I am so overwhelmed with everthing that I feel like I can't take anymore. Should I just leave him and struggle to do whatever it takes to make a happy life for my children and myself. Or do I stick it out and keep trying to make it work with my husband? Any advice? PLEASE!
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female
reader, cleo1312  +, writes (15 March 2007):
Id say leave him its not going to be easy but there must be organisations/refuges out their who can help, it sounds like your are taking care of most of the finances/childcare anyway youve got to do whats best for you and the kids.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 March 2007): Hi,It sounds really difficult. If he has been abusive, you should really leave him and take your children and yourself away from possible danger. Your children can feel the tension in your home and will also be suffering stress. They dont want to see their mother being hurt or abused in any way.Confide in your family, or if you cant, an organisation who can help.
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A
female
reader, dollparts  +, writes (15 March 2007):
 Leave him! Acoholics only get worse believe me I use to live with one. You need to take your kids and yourself out of there, you need to be happy and sticking with an abusive acoholic will make them tuff and hard as its done with my sister and its not doing you any good at all either believe me before this gets worse please get out of there, it can only do good when you get out if you want to talk about this you can messange me if you like.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 March 2007): No don't stick it out anymore, you have given him enough. I am not surprised you are feeling the way that you do. You have a life too and yours is being sucked out of you by him. Don't worry about the courts and stuff that will get sorted out later, but for now your health and that well being of your children is the most important things in your life. Get out now. You may find that hard, but actually it is easy, i did it. I got away from a wife beater. You deserve better and so do your very young family. They are at an ideal age to be able to start again. Do not hesitate get away now.
Take care and keep in touch if you want.
xx
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