A
male
age
36-40,
*arl619
writes:I have been seeing my boyfriend on and off since December 2007, it began as a long distance relationship but he moved nearer, to manchester which is about 25 miles from where I live to see me more often. However, this year the realtionship has hit the rocks. We're both to blame, he kissed a guy on a night out and flirted with him after and also sent rude pics to one of my friend and I've done similar things im not proud of. However , in the year we were together we were both very much in love and did alot in a short amount of time together, we were best mates. Recently however, we have been arguing pretty much week on week and so he refused to see me for 5 months. I did start most arguments, but they were over silly things such as him not texting back . These arguments take place over msn mostly. I know the error of my ways now, he says im controlling but I know I'm not but I do accept my part in the arguments. However he has said he doesnt want a relationship anymore, that he's not up for it and that I'm not the same person as he fell in love with. As far as he is concerned I'm a differend person. This is not the case, I just went through a rough patch where we didnt see eachother for 5 months despite being a 30 min train ride apart and where he felt like I was not giving him enough space. It's very hard to reach a compromise with him either. so...I would like to start afresh properly, I know my mistakes and I wont do them again, I love him, he still admits loving me but wont take me back. I cannot really make myself stay friends with him, if he sees someone else the jealousy would be hard to take and control and the spilt wasn't mutual. I understand I maybe argued too much with him, and he reached a tipping point but my parents argue alot and so do alot of couples, I mean we only got to see eachother once a month and so it would be very hard not to go by without feeling unloved. So what should I doIgnore him? Give him space? If I do ignore him do I tell him that I cannot be friends with an ex because it would just make things worse for me. He says that nobody else is involved and I believe him.Thanks for your help!
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fell in love, flirt, jealous, long distance, msn, text, unloved Reply to this Question
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male
reader, lboy +, writes (2 August 2009):
 dear reader, first its weird to give advicxe to someone so close to me lol im not far from manchester haha, anyway i think that the whole argueing alot maybe because of how fast you say things started it is possible that you did what most people do at the start of a relationship and pretend to be a different person to keep the other person attracted, im not critizising ive done it myself its a thing people do without knowin i think, i think you shoudl just give the guy space, try to be friends with him and if that hurts too much just take some time out and relax try to stop thinking of him as a lover and only as a friend, then once you think your in the right frame of mind try for friendship again, this time apart and him getting to know you as just a friend may make him see how much he does feel for you and maybe you'll end up back together im not making promises but sometimes it works out that way, i dont really know what else i can tell you, if you need anymore advice feel free to send me a private message.
good luck
lboy
xx
A
male
reader, Karl619 +, writes (30 July 2009):
Karl619 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionlonestar.......... at least say why you THINK im controlling etc. You dont know me or my boyfriend and it sounds to me like you're a gay hater. You dont know me or my boyfriend so get a life, give meaningful responses or get lost
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A
male
reader, lonestarchalk1  +, writes (30 July 2009):
 Sounds like your an overly controlling annoying person, better called AKA Drama Queen, get over yourself
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