A
female
age
36-40,
*eordiegirl22
writes:Ive fancied someone from work since i started there 3 years ago, but i new he had a girlfriend, so stayed well clear.about 2 yrs ago he came onto me at an xmas party but i thought he was just drunk and laughed it off, and weve just been our normals selves at work.i bumped into him about 2 months ago on a night out, and we started flirting, i had just come out a relationship so craved a bit of attention and flirtin doesnt hurt anyone right?well since then the friendship has took new levels, we swapped numbers, and started meeting after work, which has now turned into a sexual affair. i thought it wud just happen once i wanted to get over my ex and thought this wud aid me.problem is now we cant stop, weve tried to stop it twice, cos were falling for each other. iv never cheated on anyone in my life and hav never aided anyone else in cheating (to my knowledge). so i feel really guilty for what im doin to this girl. and yes i have thought about what it wud b like if the situation was flipped.i wud never ask him to leave his lass for me, im not that sort of person. and he has sed he finds it hard to ever imagine not being with her even thou, he always says there more like friends than anything.the other day i was very drunk, he came to mine for about an hour then left, this was the only time iv ever thought about him goin back to her, and i wudnt say i was jealous just felt used a bit, so i invited an old male friend round that he new i had a bit of a thing with in the past, anways nothing happened. so i told him the next day that i had him rounnd. and he made me feel so guilty??? whats that all about, hes got a girlfriend and im not allowed male friends.now hes acting funny with me, i dunno what to do, i no if his lass wasnt in the situation we wud b together. we suit each other in every way possible even his mates "some of which from work that hate me" say that were good together.do i hold out for this bloke that could make me really happy if he eventually split up with his lass, or leave it now, if so how do i leave it we work together, see each other everyday, i cant help but want him?????
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affair, at work, drunk, flirt, jealous, my ex, split up Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, geordiegirl22 +, writes (6 October 2007):
geordiegirl22 is verified as being by the original poster of the question Its over. A little bit gutted, but relieved that i got out. I used the old fashioned method told him i was falling for him, and he backed off totally, and finally agreed when i sed we shud end it, instead of his usual "dont be silly"!
A
male
reader, Tommy7  +, writes (1 October 2007):
You deserve better. Respect yourself and find a better boyfriend.
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A
female
reader, geordiegirl22 +, writes (1 October 2007):
geordiegirl22 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwell im very close to loosing my temper, cos yeh fair enough we were just using each other for sex but it never felt like that, now i do feel like im gettin USED, and its all on his terms aswel.
He defo still has a girlfriend, they live together.
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A
male
reader, Tommy7 +, writes (28 September 2007):
Are you sure he really has a gf? Maybe he has broken up with her? Check this out before you decide what to do.
Tell him he needs to make up his mind because you will no longer be a side dish.
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A
female
reader, geordiegirl22 +, writes (28 September 2007):
geordiegirl22 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell yet again iv tried to get out of it, and yet again hes talked me out of it. the trouble is im really falling for this lad, thats y i want out!! i cud never say its me or her, im not like that, its not cos im scared he'll say her im more scared he'll say me (dont want him to leave for me, want to leave for himself if hes that unhappy)!!! it wasnt for the challenge y iv been doing this cos it wasnt a challenge at all, and the thrills of being naughty passed after the first week. we were on another staff nite out last week and he told everyone that was out that we were together, y wud he do that, when they all no he has a girlfriend??? so now the whole office knows!!!
iv even found myself hanging round with my ex to take my mind of him, but its not working, its really strange i went with him to get over my ex, and now im hanging round with my ex to try get over him, but its just not happening, the impossible happened nd iv finally got over my ex, just to get stuck on someone else.
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A
female
reader, shynelly +, writes (17 September 2007):
 I dont know him personnaly but he sounds like a selfish jerk to me...the type of guy that only thinks of himself and is always above reproach. If thats the type of guy you want to be with then its your call. But do you really see a future with this guy? The type of wonderful guy that you imagine marrying? If not then your just wasting your time cuz hes not leaving her cuz the situation is too comfortable he has his girl and he has you on the side. I think you just want him cuz you know you cant have him. You can keep hurting your ego by staying with him or you can pull yourself out of this and become the bigger person by stopping this situation that you know is wrong.
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A
female
reader, youcant loose what you never had! +, writes (17 September 2007):
the way i see it and excuse me for being harsh the only one involved that is going to get hurt is his girlfriend shes the innocent one!and i know you have said if it was flipped round it wouldn't be nice so think of how his girlfriend thinks he loves her and only has eyes for her then all along has been with you.im not tying to make you feel guilty;im tying to make you see sense.you have too do two things the way i see it.
1:ask him her or me!he is the one cheating rely ok yes so are you but you don't have any other commitment he does.he needs to be a man about it and make that choice.you can no longer go on like this someone is going to get hurt and you no it!
2:if he says he wants to be with you make him prove it tell him he has to tell his gf.
if he choses her then you need to accept it and move on find another man who has no commitments and enjoy yourself.
but remember a man who cheats once may cheat again ok so say he choses you but who's to say he wont find another new girl and chat her up at the Christmas do.
whatever you decide and you may end up the perfect couple and if thats the case then good luck but he has to make that choice you or her!its not fare to any of you!
good luck and hope my advice helped remember do whats best for you!keep me posted x xx
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A
male
reader, Tommy7 +, writes (16 September 2007):
Knowing how he is, are you sure he's the guy you want, or was he just a challenge? From my view you need to drink less and find a more stable boyfriend.
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