A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend recently broke up with me because he says we rushed into things too fast. We were together for 2 months and had sex after the 1st month. I wanted to wait and so did he but one thing led to another. Like after we did it everything was fine, until a couple weeks later when things started to change. He said that he didn't want to get hurt by me like all his other girlfriends. I told him I was different but he obviously didn't believe me. I asked him what he wanted for his birthday and he told me that he didn't want anything, I told him to stop being silly and just let me get him something Cuz I was his girlfriend after all. I don't know why, but after I asked him, he automatically told me that we rushed into things too quick and that he wanted to get to know me before we got back together. I don't understand why he could look me in the eyes and tell me how much he loved me and that he was never going to give up on me, then give up that easily. What did I do wrong? How do I fix us? Should I give up on him and move on with my life or hold onto someone who doesn't want to be held onto? How do I prove to him that I do love him and want to make things work between us? Please help.
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male
reader, beenthere_donethat  +, writes (11 August 2013):
I am going to state the obvious. He just wanted to prove that he can get in your pants. He doesn't love you. He just wanted to sleep with you. Let him go. You deserve someone better.
A
female
reader, AuntyEm  +, writes (24 June 2009):
 You don't have to prove you love him...in fact it's impossible, especially when that person is not in love with you. He may have said it initially but then you became involved sexually and he decided to pull the plug. Having sex too soon in a relationship is always a bad idea. Women see having sex as an emotional 'I love you' thing, men see sex as a temporary release that makes them feel good about themselves.
He obviously doesn't want nto hurt you but the signals are there. He says he wants to get to know you better before you get back together, this just sounds like an excuse to let you down gently, I doubt he wants to get back with you. He said he doesn't want to be let down by you. This is another way of transferring the blame onto himself so you won't feel bad. If he just came right out and said 'I don't want to date you anymore' He would look bad...and he wants to avoid this.
I would let him go, part as friends, don't bug him and call and text him all the time, be nice if you meet in the street...but back off from him. He isn't ready to commit to you.
Aunty Em xx
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