A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am not strictly in a relationship, but me and a girl are in love. Sounds stupid but I wont bore you with the details. I would say I treat her well, like nicely. We are always texting and I always compliment her and I did that alot (mostly in private) when i saw her (she lives 200 miles away). is this a sign of weakness? Im not saying i dont want to treat her nicely but sometimes you have to show bad side dont you??? i dunno im just a bit confused. I love treating her nicely so yeh. Any comments?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 August 2007): NICE GUYS FINISH LAST. So true. Don't ever doubt it. And don't ever let girls tell you that it's not true just because it's an aspect of their gender that they're not so proud of.
But the point isn't for you to be an a**hole to your girlfriend. The point is that you just shouldn't err on the side of the less-attractive things that a guy can be. Confidence, assertiveness, etc.
Whether it's a man or a woman, people like being the subject of attention & effort. But they still want their partners to present some challenge for a while. Pursuing a girl is NOT the same thing as being whipped & obsessed with the girl.
What you're doing should seem a lot more like "hunting" her for the fun of it, rather than seeming like you're wholly dependent on her presence & approval all the time.
A
male
reader, FlavorDude  +, writes (13 August 2007):
Hey. The bottom line is this: Nice guys FINISH DEAD LAST. The female mind is way different than yours and mine. Whereas you or I would take compliments and being treated well as a sign of respect and appreciation, a girl would see that as a measure of how much she can control you. See girls have what you call feminine radars. They can intuitively tell how much a guy likes her. Now regardless of how much like her, is irrelevant, if she thinks that you are just a pushover who can be easily had, then she loses interest in you faster than a baby loses interest in a toy. I suggest you slow down on the text and compliments. When you do see her in person, be on your toes and make sure you are Project your MANHOOD and open the doors and pay for the check and all the good stuff and believe me, in enough time she will be begging for you to put her in one of those new relationships, where you are the captain. Good Luck
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 August 2007): "Im not saying I dont want to treat her nicely but sometimes you have to show bad side don't you?"
Most definitely NOT! Where'd you learn that? Every girl who prefers pleasure over pain will like to be treated accordingly, with consideration and care. You don't have to act frightening, so as to be dominant! You'll only make your partner be submissive and reserved until she's indicated a way out. Therefore it's not a good idea. The correct way would be to act as a man, that is, show her the amount of respect you would as well like to receive in return, not be too proud to admit wrongness etc. Of course, such behaviour will not always be appreciated, but we will at least have a peaceful heart we have acted rightly. Besides, weak is rather who says is never weak. William Wallace admitted he was afraid, the hero. Sometimes it's an act of courage and noblety to admit fear or mistake. Also don't confuse weak with sensitive. Some are very impressionable, you'd say they need protection, but in reality very brave-hearted. Etc. Coincidentally, I read a research-article recently, saying women prefer men with mild features to the so-called "macho man" who is associated with dominance. Here's your answer.
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A
female
reader, sexi  +, writes (13 August 2007):
 Hi,no dont show her your bad sid - that would scare her away. She probably prefers the nice you.
Take Care
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (13 August 2007):
 Treating someone nicely is not a sign of weakness it's a sign of class. Keep it up, Buddy.
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