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male
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anonymous
writes:Wow, it certainly has been a while. I used to come on this site to answer questions, yet here I am years later asking one.So, here's my problem: I have been hooking up and hanging out a lot with this girl who lives right across from my dorm room in college. Everything has been going well, and as each day passed in the past few weeks, I've grown to love her more and more (yes, I am absolutely positive these feelings are not based off of my physical desires). I have asked her out on dates a couple of times, but she rejected each day. Despite that, we still have done physical things, and for the both of us, it's been great. However, she still doesn't know what she wants out of "us" or if there will even be an "us".She's asked that we space ourselves from each other for a week. She's even limited contact to one hug a day (c'mon, everyone loves hugs, right?). I'm in agreement and feel like it would be the best thing and hopefully, if I'm good about it, it will bring around even better things. My question to all of you is this: Can I do anything other than giving her space and refraining from physical contact to help her along, or am I to just sit and wait? It's been day one, and it's already hard to keep her off my mind. Suggestions? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 November 2009): You two are bed buddies, nothing more, and the rules of engagement on that is there will be no expectations of a relationship.
Wow, it is pretty unusual for a girl to act this way towards the guy and him wanting more than she does....
She is using you until someone better comes along or she heals from a past break up and then she will be ready to move on. She clearly is not interested in you as a boyfriend, and people typically want what they can't have, in particular men are prone to this.....and you have fallen into this yearning for the hard to get.
I say give her a run for her money, turn her down the next time she wants to hook up with you and go out on a date with another girl. Why would you want to wait for her, wait for what? She isn't buying what you are selling.
Turn the tables on her and test her feelings, see if she gets a little jealous and turns things around and chases you.
It is a game, but in situations like this, it is a good one. Take care.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 November 2009): Sorry but in this situation I think she just needs space and time to find out what she wants. I know its hard to keep away when all you want to do is be with them but it sounds like she needs her space to figure her stuff out. Good luck.
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