A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:For the past month ive been suspecting my bf has not been entirely truthful on where hes been going and the txts hes been recieving,so on his phone bill a number appeared over and over again just as much as mine, so i made up a story and txt it found out it was a woman ( who i dont like ) which he told me didnt have his number, and had no i idea who i was when i said my name,he found out and said he had been keeping things from me and not telling me things due to how he thinks id react ( like the above )and to save my feelings,he was very angry with me , and says its all my fault even though i told him if he was 100% honest i would not have done that was i right to behave this way ? do i have every right to ask to see the conversations they had ?i dont think hes cheated , but its not normal for a woman to be texting a bloke who she knows has a gf that volume of texts and a lot of times early hrs?
View related questions:
text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 April 2010): Something could be up... but then again he could just be good friends with her and could be scared of your reaction. You both did wrong because you both broke the trust, him by not telling you and you by snooping.
A
female
reader, Honeygirl  +, writes (20 April 2010):
 Sorry hun, I agree with CaringGuy on this one. Sounds like he is up to no good.Honeygirl
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 April 2010): Actually it sounds like he is emotionally cheating on you, they might not have had sex but emotionally cheating is just as bad.
If he hadn't made it blatantly obvious he was hiding something from you then you wouldn't have had to check up on him, he's betraying your trust and trying to turn it back on you, there's nothing wrong with what you did in this case.
No, it's not normal for your boyfriend to do that and keep it secret, I mean if this was a female friend and he was completely open and honest about their contact then that would be okay, but not here.
...............................
A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (20 April 2010):
The fact she lied and said she didn't have his number is an indication that he's been up to no good. And on top of it he's blaming you. There was no reason for him to lie, which means he's up to no good.
...............................
A
male
reader, TimmD  +, writes (20 April 2010):
 He was not being honest with you. For him to turn it back around onto you like you did something wrong is a classic defense mechanism guilty people use. He shouldn't have been talking to her in the first place. If it wasn't a big deal he should have told you. The fact that he WAS talking to her and DIDN'T tell you means he was doing something wrong.
Don't feel guilty like you did anything wrong. You didn't trust him and you have every reason not to. He is a coward turning this all back onto you.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 April 2010): I can sympathise slightly with your chap, as my girlfriend sometimes finds it difficult to accept that I have female friends and I do not believe I should have to cut them out or always do things involving my girlfriend. Particularly if they were friends before we got together. I genuinely wouldn't have a problem with her having male friends. I have always had lots of female friends because I grew up in a class of 5 boys and 21 girls!I have occasionally had to tell slight white lies about spending some time with one or two of my friends because she will kick off when there is nothing going on. Shouldn't have to be like that, there has to be trust between both sides. Having said that, my female friends wouldn't text me at stupid hours in the morning and none of them have an issue with my gf (ie, there is no actual animosity). But I'm afraid you don't have the right to ask to see or read his text messages, even if he IS up to something. There may be absolutely nothing going on, but he's certainly going to be even more private now if he realises you don't trust him and go so far as to, in effect, spy on him.
...............................
|
