A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi. I'm a senior in high school and I'm not sure what's wrong with me. I've only had one girlfriend my whole life, but I've been very close to having other girlfriends numerous times. My ex girlfriend and I broke up in my sophomore year and it was a pretty bad situation. It's not important what happened exactly, but it was a really, REALLY bad experience, especially for someone that was only 15 years old. Since then, I've been with a handful of other girls, but it has never been official. I've always had this feeling that I wasn't very interested in any of them. I was always very attracted to them, but generally I just didn't like any of them enough to make it official. For a while, I just thought that I just hadn't found the right girl. But now I don't know. I met this girl who is actually really cool. She says she's interested in me and I'm pretty interested in her too. She's not like any of those other girls - she's interesting and funny and we have a lot in common. But I still can't shake this feeling of not wanting a relationship. I don't know, now I'm starting to think I might just have commitment problems. When I'm with her, I'm really happy and I have a really good time. But when I'm away with her I feel like I'm just not up for a relationship. It's starting to really annoy me. I don't know why I always have to feel this way. All of my friends are happily in relationships and I just can't seem to stay with one for long at all.Thanks for your time.
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female
reader, mss anonymous +, writes (8 January 2010):
Basically you don't want a girlfriend. You don't want to be committed to one girl and you want to do what you want to do. There's nothing "wrong" with you. Your in highschool and alot of guys feel that way and you will know that from the guys that cheat on they're girlfriends. Most guys don't want to fully commit themselves to one girl. You may find that right now in your life you don't want one, but don't worry, there will come a time when you will want to commit.
A
female
reader, lotus mama808 +, writes (8 January 2010):
 Soooo, here is the deal (and I am just sort of generalizing here), at your age, it is pretty common to not be in a commited relationship. It's the "age of exploring", so to speak. Most of your friends that are in relationships will probably not end up marrying these girls in the future. You mind is still growing and your values and tastes in ladies will change as you grow older. Right now you feel like you go through girlfriends like water, but really, you are learning what it is you want in a girl. One might have some qualities that you desire, yet lack some that you need. With this being said, on the opposite end of things, it is NOT ok to be leading girls on, cheating, and hurting girls simply because you feel like you need to "explore your options". Have many friends that are girls, and study them as potential girlfriends, but don't lead them on untill you are sure you could commit. You are picky, and there is nothing wrong with that. There is also nothing wrong with focusing on other things at this age. You have plenty time to commit and it is always a good idea to focus on you and your goals before you share yourself with someone else.
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