A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have been with my bf for a year and a half now and we have a very good sex life but yesterday i caught him looking at porn and it really hurt me and made me feel that i am not satisfying enough for him and that our sex life isnt satisfying enough for him. it really made me feel horrible about meself and and not being good enough for him in my looks and sexuality. Am i over reacting or do i have a right to feel sad and upset that he is not satisfied with me?Please help, thank you.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 January 2008): Generally men have a higher sex drive than women. There are individual exceptions, but on the whole, it is true. He is not disrespectful to you. Me for example, I need, not want, but need to relieve the pressure. It is better than fooling around.
A
female
reader, Dawnie  +, writes (4 January 2008):
 I don't like the comments that Flynn made, i thought they were unfair and uncalled for. There are a lot of women on this site that do not like their partners watching porn.I believe that if a couple are happy to have that in their relationship, fine. But when the male is sneaking around behind his partners back watching it,knowing that it upsets her, then that is a real lack of respect. Men do not NEED porn to relieve themselves, that is just utter rubbish and just an immature attitude to sex.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 January 2008): Flynn 24:
She is not 'bitching' about it. That is very offensive and insensitive. You seem uneducated. She is simply telling us how she feels about it, and she has a right to feel ANYTHING. Maybe men do have stronger sex drives, but they don't need porn to masturbate. No one needs porn to feel sexual or get a release. A vivid imagination gives the same or better satisfaction. We're part of a world where everything is being done for us, even our sex lives are being designed. I encourage masturbation, but do not condone porn. Emphasising that it is 'non-cheating' is so lame. To some people it is considered to be empty, tacky, hurtful and a betrayal, in which case I've got this crazy idea- how about neither? If you are in a truly loving a relationship this is not too much to ask.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 January 2008): What is it with chicks and Porn?
We guys like to look at it. It isn't cheating and its not a comment your abilities in the bedroom.
Its simply because our sex drives are far more potent then yours. I mean have you ever wondered why men want sex as often as they can get away with?
Watching porn is simply a clean, non-cheating way to keep that sex drive under wraps.
So quit all your bitching about it or let the guy know that it bothers you.
That way he'll either bee more discreet next time or stop.
Flynn 24
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 January 2008): You are not neccesarily overreacting. Had you ever spoken to him about porn? Did he know that you're uncomfortable with it? It could be that he just didn't know that it was something you're against/and or uncomfortable with, in which case you would need to communicate your beliefs and boundaries with him. If he did know, he disrespected you. We are told that ALL men like porn, but this is simply not true and it is definitely not something anyone NEEDS. What people do need though is love and respect, and you should not have to fight for it. As to feeling that he is unsatisfied, I would say that that is highly unlikely. Many people look at porn even if they are satisfied in their sex lives, but this does not mean that YOU should condone it. If you are in a truly loving relationship, he should respect you enough to honor your core feelings about this. It could be that you are not even sure about what those feelings are, so I would take time out to figure out what YOU feel and believe, then you need to have a heart to heart with him I think.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 January 2008): As long as he is wanting you before he turns to the porn, than you are ok. But if he would rather watch the porn than be intimate with you, than there is a problem. I once dated a guy who liked porn and the type he liked was everything that I wasn't, and he wanted it more than me. So after 4 years ( I shouldn't have waited that long) I left, and I am so glad that I did.
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A
female
reader, mama2three +, writes (3 January 2008):
 You are overreacting...whether they admit it or not, I'd say a majority of men look at porn whether they have a fulfilling sex life or not! Men's brains are wired to look at other women. They look when they see a pretty girl walking down the street, they stare at the pretty waitress...it's just in their nature, believe it or not!
But, us, as women, we're always looking way more into things than necessary. For example, just because he's watching porn doesn't mean he isn't satisfied with YOU, it just means he wanted to watch some porn!
If it does worry you though, you guys should talk about it, that way he could (probably) put all your fears at ease!
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A
female
reader, ek1976 +, writes (3 January 2008):
Have you had any luck with this? Becuase I am in the same position (no pun intended). I am so frustrated I want to cry!
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