A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I left my wife and young sons for another woman, I am not proud of it but I fell in love. So walked.She left her marriageStill with the other woman missed the kids best years, my ex let me have access and it must have been hard for her.Fast forward and I have met a new woman on holiday who is awesome and I fell for her, its mutual, I guess I stayed this long with current one as I broke up my family for her so guilt and habit kept us together. Now I want out. Do I go or stay out of guilt?
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broke up, fell in love, my ex, on holiday Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 October 2015): Different woman, same problem...you...
Take a break and work on yourself, stop yourself ffrom repeating the same thing.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 October 2015): What guilt? You're just doing what you did before, nothing new about it, carry on and face the consequences.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 September 2015): whoa do guys so easily to fall in love? or you just mistaken your feelings? and also do you not wearing your ring or anything to let the other woman flirt with you? do you not think about other people's feelings? before you left someone for someone else, think if you're in the position when you're the one that about to be left behind. what is your guilt? you already left your wife and kids
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 September 2015): My question
To flesh it out a bit. My current and me caused pain to our kids and spouses, and family. Her mother never liked me because of what we did. We were in love so nobody else counted. The air beneath my wings. Didn't want more kids or marry her cos of the mess before
Now a new lady is making me feel new, not guilty, so am gonna move out, get my own place, take things slow. It works or it don't, but no lies or living together.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 September 2015): If i was your original wife my answer would be 'yes' leave this woman you dumped your wife for, as she was a home wrecker too & deserves a bit of payback!
However, in all honesty, you just seem to be going round & round in circles & sure enough it will happen again in a few years time with yet another woman, if you are that kind of guy.
If you have had more children with this lady I wouldn't move on just yet. But if not - then yes you are living a lie & need to go.
To be honest - I don't think you are the settling down type at all. Maybe just move into a flat of your own & live the bachelor life. At least then you won't have to commit to anyone on a full time basis!!
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A
female
reader, Pureflame  +, writes (23 September 2015):
There's always gonna b someone who is more appealing. you need to work on d one you have.. but thats what i think personally. maybe you're making the excuse of guilt cuz it sort of justifies you leaving her. But as i said. Seems like just an excuse
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 September 2015): There's no point staying out of guilt if you've checked out emotionally.
Do you have kids with the second woman? If so then you risk missing their best years too.
If you are ready to walk then I'm sure she is feeling unlove. I doubt you buy her flowers everybweek and book her surprise spa holidays. In other words she's probably staying out of guilt too.
Dare I say she knew what kind of man you were so she should be hardly surprised that you've lined up the next model now that you're no longer imthe honeymoon stage.
If anything, she's more likely to be understanding if you leave her for a new love because she's done it in the past.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (23 September 2015):
 So there seems to be some space in between these two things. You were in love with the "current one"... you both left marriages to be with one another ... then you were with "current one" because of guilt and habit. And now, you want out.
What happened?
Perhaps you aren't *the type* to be faithful and look to get out when things get boring or you find a younger shinier love interest. There are many who aren't built for monogamy.
I suggest you work through what happened leading you from "in love" to "staying due to guilt/habit" to "I want out" before jumping into a new relationship.
This does seem to be a rather important life decision, presented for us to help you decide in 100 words. I know you're told to keep it short but perhaps you could find another few hundred words to flesh this out a bit better? Thanks!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 September 2015): You are a pip! You're not married to the second lady; and can do whatever you want. Staying out of guilt is living a lie.
Exactly what kind of advice would you expect for a guy who is dumping two women, for yet a third? You abandoned your family for a woman, now you're dumping her!
Seriously?!!
Hopefully, you're not currently married and have no more children?!
Learn to commit. Try to make life up to your children; and set somewhat of a good role-model as a man and a father/ grandfather. You can't change women like underwear buddy-boy. You've got to consider the feelings of someone other than your own.
Don't try to make us believe you've fallen in-love...once again. You're tired of the old one, and sexually-attracted to another.
Someday you are going to be a very lonely man. You will meet your karma; if you don't learn how to commit with sincerity, and concern yourself with the impression you make on your children. Even if they're all adults now.
They've watched you dump their mother, now they get to see you pull that stunt again. Yessiree! You're a pip, you are!
Stick with the lady you're with, and see if the feelings pass for the other woman. If you've already cheated? By all means, move on.
If you haven't cheated, but considering it? It may just be a seven-year itch, or a middle-aged crisis. You see yourself getting older, and wanting to reestablish your virility. You have big balls, a tremendous ego, and your heart is all over the place. I'm speaking man to man. I shoot from the hip. You need some straight-up advice, not sugar-coated sappy-sweet pandering.
You can't trade-in women for a new model every other year or so.
Someday, you're going to look back on your life in regret and loneliness. What goes around comes around. Life goes full-circle, my friend.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 September 2015): Once a cheater always a cheat they say. So whether you stay out of guilt or go with your new love - it won't really matter - as sure enough someone else will turn your head yet again before long & you will have yet another dilemma to face.
All I can suggest is do what causes the least hurt & damage.
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