A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Need advice. been in a relationship with my partner for 3 years and have recently returned from spending three days with him in Liverpool, but its now got me thinking of the future, but the only thing that's standing in our way is his mum. shes very critical about people and judgemental. at the start of our relationship she said that I was only 18 and that I would get him in trouble with the police which I'm actually 23 and hes 43 but I've loved him from I was 13 and hes the one I want to be with. so how do I get him to tell her that he wants to be with me, he's scared of her cos he thinks she will throw him out of the house, he's father passed away 16 years ago so I just don't know what to do please help Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 September 2015): You I give a pass to because you are so young and have not really learned about life yet.This man is a Loser with a capital L.He is not normal.By the age of 43 you should own your own house have a very good job,have a very large retirement plan put away.He lives with mommy.And I have to tell you the age differance is rather creepy.You have loved him since you were 13?What did he feel about you then?See what I mean?Even you at 18 before you acted on it(so you say but I cannot really believe)it seems maybe like he could maybe be..gasp you know a pedofile?Be young and stupid if you must but please do not have a child with him for the childs sake.You really need to dump this creep and see what he really is.You need to move out on your own and experence getting to know who you really are.Live your youth do not throw it away it is gone so fast.
A
female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (23 September 2015):
 I'm trying to work out the math here. You've been with him for 3 years, and at the start of the relationship she said that you were only 18, but you are 23 at this time so you were actually 20 when you began the relationship. Did I get that right? You loved him since the time you were 13, so you've loved him for 10 years, he was 33 when you first started having feelings for him?
I expect that if she was aware that a 13 year old girl was in love with her adult son aged 33, of course she would be concerned that he would get in trouble with the police if he was actually going to try to nurture that relationship.
The problem seems to be that he's not willing to tell her that he's actually been dating you for 3 years?
Why is he still living with his mother at the age of 43? Is he her care-giver, is she disabled?
I agree with WiseOwlE, you are two adults and are capable of getting your own place. So rather than worry about getting him to tell her that he wants to be with you, get him to find you two a place you can live in together.
What do your family and friends think? They could help find a place, offer suggestions for employment if that is the sticking point for him.
I would advise being very cautious about putting all your hopes on him. It's been 3 years, you were 20 when you started seeing him, and he still hasn't convinced his mother of that age thing.
Did he tell her you two were in Liverpool together?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 September 2015): He's 43, still living with his mother? I don't think his mother is really the problem here.
You're two adults! Get your own place and forget about his mother. If you're planning to all pile up on top of her and live in her house; then she has every right to be as critical and difficult as she wants to be.
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