A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:ok i am VERY confused! my feelings are all over the place and i dont know what to do!i am 19 years old and a virgin and i have only had one boyfriend during high school but it wasnt serious at all...i dont like to say it but the thing is i am very good looking..so i alot of guys hit on me constantly but i have never wanted any relationship during my teens years because i believe that they are all waste of time and bring nothing to the women i want to be except hurt...i might be wrong but thats what i think!i finished high school recently and i have met this guy who is 25 turning 26 yr old and he is in his final year at uni...he is very decent guy,treats me like a princess..even more...does anything i want and respects me endlessly...and he respects the fact that i have never been serious with anyone else and after couple of weeks when he met me he was hinting that when am ready and when i decide that he is the guy i really want he wants to marry me and he is pretty serious! he is planing on finishing uni and get a job and then shortly after or during my uni degree he would propose!now we have been seeing each other for almost 6 months...we are still "getting to know each other" nothing more...not even a kiss! but he is totally crazy about me and he would go out of his way to make me happythe problem is...he DOESNT!!,,,i just dont feel anything towards him except that i like him and respect the person he is...and i admire him alot!but am not attracted to him physically at all! i can imagine myself living with him and i know that in the future he will be a great partner and everything....but the thing is..he is very serious and keeps telling me that he doesnt "want to loose me"!till then i was going with the flow and thinking that i might develop something more for him with time...i finished high school exams and got accepted at uni in the course i want...during this holiday i got a job at a company of a family friend..he is the owner...i knew he liked me since day one..he actually fired the trainee he had to hire me! i had no experience whatsoever! everyone was surprised that i got such a great job as my first job with high pay for doing nothing!my boss is 29...he is a millionaire...he is very funny and caring...but very busy...when he showed interest in me i didnt care much..and i didnt respond at all..i totaly ignored him...but everyone at work knew that he really really liked mei come from a very traditional family...so marriage at young age (20-24) is not an odd thing...we share the same culture and he said he was looking for the right girl for years but wasnt satisfied with anyone till he met me!he told me to think of his offer..he said we can get to know each other after he speaks to my parents and if i liked him we can get engaged!now i am not the type of girl who goes after money...i am a volunteer in red cross and i have spent long months in Africa and Cambodia trying he help people,,,but now i dont know what to choose...or what to thinkmy boss seems so good to be true,,,he will provide a comfortable life style and he is very easy going and smart and hard working ( you can tell that he made a fortune in 9 years!) but i am scared from him for some reason!the other guy have a similar personalty as me..we share the same thoughts and beliefs..but i dont feel attracted to him..and he is kinda the lazy type whom always puts everything to later! and hes getting really serious with time!what should i do?ps. am sorry for the length of this question...i wanted to explain the whole picture..thanks for reading...
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 December 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHes not very lazy...actually he studies law at uni...but I feel as like we have different energy levels...am very motivated and driven and always try to be timstic...hes negative and I have to reassure him always and push him forward!
am not leaving the guy coz someone rich came along! I wasnt attracted to him from the begining thats why we never got seriouse
My boss is single....he was very busy all those years that he put marriage off
A
female
reader, YouWish  +, writes (22 December 2010):
 Well, I will say this - your guy who is 25-26 and in his last year at University isn't lazy if he's been putting himself through graduate school!
As for your 29 year old boss, is he available, or is he married? What makes you scared of him?? That is a feeling never to be ignored.
Let me also ask you this - if your University guy was the millionare and the 29 year old boss wasn't, who would you be attracted to?
Money can evaporate quickly, and it will never cause happiness and should never cloud your true assessment of a guy. I'm guessing in 20 years, all that hard work at University will be very financially fruitful for the 25-26 year old guy.
Don't forget that you have a third option - to ditch them both and hold out for someone new who does attract you and doesn't scare you!
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