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Do I go back to the 'bad' ex

Tagged as: Dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Article - (22 September 2007) 6 Comments - (Newest, 3 October 2007)
A female United States age 30-35, muchluv4 writes:

i need help. I amd in love with my ex but don't know how to tell him. And plus i broke up with him which was really stupid. Even though he does drugs, i can't help but always thinking what it would be lyke if we got back together. Please give som advice on wether i should go for it or not?!?!?!

View related questions: broke up, drugs, got back together, my ex

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A reader, anonymous, writes (3 October 2007):

get out while you can... my ex husband abused drugs and later started abusing me... i was one of the lucky ones that escape that torture... soon enough they will start hillusinating and then turn you into their punching bag. i stayed in an abusive relationship for 11 years... because i didn't believe in divorces... it's not worth it... when a guy is on drugs... it's not a relationship because his relationship is with the drugs and you are only used for his pleasure... GET OUT!!!!!!! while you still can......

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A female reader, Ms.Sweet dreams Philippines +, writes (26 September 2007):

Ms.Sweet dreams agony auntwell if u think u want to go back with him. make sure that he loves u and he is willing to stop doing his bad things. give him a choice love his drugs or he will have u for the rest of his life. i heard some story about that and i was amazed to my friend that her bf change when after they broke up and the guy was regret and go back to my friend coz he really loves her. i hope ur xbf will change his bad things he did for the sake of love. it was nice if he is addicted to u. am i right?

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A female reader, starfairy United Kingdom +, writes (25 September 2007):

starfairy agony auntI was in this situation once. I was with a guy who I felt was the one, we were so totally wrapped up in each other. But a serious lack of maturity on his part meant that we broke up after 6 months.

It was really hard breaking up, and a year went by with us dating other people and loosely remaining friends. It ended up with us getting back together, but what a case of rose tinted spectacles!! Over the year I'd remembered all the good bits and reduced the bad bits to almost nothing. But all the old issues were still there, plus a little more, and needless to say we broke up again.

But we both got the closure we needed, maybe that's what you need, maybe you should give it another go with your ex.

I always think, if you broke up, there's a reason, and that reason will always be there. Especially in the case of drugs, that's an addiction, whether he is doing or dealing, that won't go away. Maybe you will get the closure you need though.

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A female reader, Orange_Blossom Canada +, writes (24 September 2007):

Orange_Blossom agony auntFirst remind yourself why you broke up with him to begin with. Ask yourself if it's worth it. The only person responsible for your actions is yourself. If you don't like the drugs, don't do it with him, and ask him not to do them around you. Depending on how he reacts should help you make up your mind. Be honest about your feelings with him. Just don't say anything unless you know for sure. Why bother hurt him twice. Think about it and come up with a plan before you tell him how you feel. If hee has a drug problem, he needs to help himself. He's the olny one who can. You can influence him. Be careful, you don't want to make a rash decision. What will be, will be. Try to get i touch with yourself before you get in touch with him. I wish you all the best!

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A male reader, kenny United Kingdom + , writes (23 September 2007):

kenny agony auntIf you feel in your heart of hearts that this is the right thing to do, and it feels right for you then there is no reason why you shoulden't ask him back out. Tell him you made a stupid mistake and can you both give it another shot.

All the best x

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A female reader, carchick United Kingdom +, writes (23 September 2007):

carchick agony auntu should say how u fell good luck xx

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